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Monthly Archives: September 2007

It’s going well since I take whiskey in my coffee

I thought I would share my favorite questions of the day:

“So, how is homeschooling going?”
Heike:”It’s going well since I take whiskey in my coffee.”

“Who’s walking who?” (Favorite comment from male pedestrians with balding hair as I am walking/training my puppy.)
Heike: “That is so funny. Have not heard that one before. Here, would you like to walk him?”

“Mama, can you come wipe my butt?”
“Mama!”
“Mama?”

“Why don’t I have any socks?” (The last time a man asked me that, I left him)
Heike: “Sorry, our art project this week was sock puppets. Here are some with green hair.”

“Mama, why does that poop have white hair?” (As we are on a nature walk….)
Heike: “A coyote ate Santa”

It’s going well since I take whiskey in my coffee

I thought I would share my favorite questions of the day:

“So, how is homeschooling going?”
Heike:”It’s going well since I take whiskey in my coffee.”

“Who’s walking who?” (Favorite comment from male pedestrians with balding hair as I am walking/training my puppy.)
Heike: “That is so funny. Have not heard that one before. Here, would you like to walk him?”

“Mama, can you come wipe my butt?”
“Mama!”
“Mama?”

“Why don’t I have any socks?” (The last time a man asked me that, I left him)
Heike: “Sorry, our art project this week was sock puppets. Here are some with green hair.”

“Mama, why does that poop have white hair?” (As we are on a nature walk….)
Heike: “A coyote ate Santa”

Invisible

Today I had to run the store to pick something up. It was late, and I had 28 minutes to get there and back home.

So I drive up to the drugstore, and there is a homeless guy standing in front of the door asking everyone who comes in and out for money. Most of the people ignore him. I do too. I basically walk by him like he is not even there, because I am on a mission.

He is still there when I walk out, and I ignore him again. As I am getting in my car, I hear a lady say: “Ok, I am just going to go to my car and come right back.” He says: “Thank you, I appreciate it.”. For some reason, I feel compelled to stick around to see if she really comes back. She gets in her car and drives off.

Well, doesn’t that stink? I am not sure why that bothered me, but all of a sudden I felt like an eel for making this guy “invisible”. I went back and gave him a dollar.

Here comes my philosophical rant:

The dollar did not clear my thoughts. Why am I so inclined to just ignore people who seem to be down in the dumps? Is it a “Hey, go to work dude!” attitude? Is it because we are struggling, so I want to spend every precious $$ on “my” family? Is it because somewhere inside I resent them asking me for money when we have to work so hard to get it? I feel hardened. I feel irritated when I am ambushed walking in or out of a store.

I will make the earth move when I am doing donation drives for our local school for homeless kids, or for women’s shelters. I feel blessed to be able to give them whatever they need.

So why do the beggars rub me the wrong way? I don’t know, maybe because they ask….

Invisible

Today I had to run the store to pick something up. It was late, and I had 28 minutes to get there and back home.

So I drive up to the drugstore, and there is a homeless guy standing in front of the door asking everyone who comes in and out for money. Most of the people ignore him. I do too. I basically walk by him like he is not even there, because I am on a mission.

He is still there when I walk out, and I ignore him again. As I am getting in my car, I hear a lady say: “Ok, I am just going to go to my car and come right back.” He says: “Thank you, I appreciate it.”. For some reason, I feel compelled to stick around to see if she really comes back. She gets in her car and drives off.

Well, doesn’t that stink? I am not sure why that bothered me, but all of a sudden I felt like an eel for making this guy “invisible”. I went back and gave him a dollar.

Here comes my philosophical rant:

The dollar did not clear my thoughts. Why am I so inclined to just ignore people who seem to be down in the dumps? Is it a “Hey, go to work dude!” attitude? Is it because we are struggling, so I want to spend every precious $$ on “my” family? Is it because somewhere inside I resent them asking me for money when we have to work so hard to get it? I feel hardened. I feel irritated when I am ambushed walking in or out of a store.

I will make the earth move when I am doing donation drives for our local school for homeless kids, or for women’s shelters. I feel blessed to be able to give them whatever they need.

So why do the beggars rub me the wrong way? I don’t know, maybe because they ask….

There is NOTHING in the fridge!

As I am driving home today after hours of socially active homeschooling (I will let you ponder on what that is :)..), and a very hyperactive spurt to the grocery store (“Look mom, I just ate all their spicy cheese samples! Want an olive???”) my husband calls:

“Hey sweetlips, what are you doing?”
“I just went to the store.”
“What store?”
(What the hell do you care????)
“To XYZ to buy organic meat, oh, and bones for Rex.”
“Did you buy anything else?”
“Yes, some other things too, but I am still going to the “big outlet store” to buy basics TOMORROW.”
“What?? We have NO food at home!”

I will spare you the rest of this conversation, as it was not very nice. Plus, I ended up cursing at everyone in front of, next to, and behind me. My son says “dumbass” again.

Sigh.

So I drag myself, and my very cranky kids to yet ANOTHER store to get the “oh so holy bologna” and other crap food my husband craves.

I get home, $90.00 later, and don’t have any room in the friggin’ fridge!!!!

There is NOTHING in the fridge!

As I am driving home today after hours of socially active homeschooling (I will let you ponder on what that is :)..), and a very hyperactive spurt to the grocery store (“Look mom, I just ate all their spicy cheese samples! Want an olive???”) my husband calls:

“Hey sweetlips, what are you doing?”
“I just went to the store.”
“What store?”
(What the hell do you care????)
“To XYZ to buy organic meat, oh, and bones for Rex.”
“Did you buy anything else?”
“Yes, some other things too, but I am still going to the “big outlet store” to buy basics TOMORROW.”
“What?? We have NO food at home!”

I will spare you the rest of this conversation, as it was not very nice. Plus, I ended up cursing at everyone in front of, next to, and behind me. My son says “dumbass” again.

Sigh.

So I drag myself, and my very cranky kids to yet ANOTHER store to get the “oh so holy bologna” and other crap food my husband craves.

I get home, $90.00 later, and don’t have any room in the friggin’ fridge!!!!

It’s ironic…

Today I see this headline in my inbox:

“Spend More Time with Your Kids – 150 Home Businesses to Choose From”

Having had 3 home businesses in direct sales, and now making and selling goddess pendants on demand, I can promise you that you will spend LESS time with your kids when you have a home business. Plus, they will memorize every stupid kids’ show. You know, the ones you only let them watch to “shush” them while you are on the phone???

You can try to lay down the law and create business hours, but I guarantee you that one child will have a “HUGE poop” right in the middle of your conference call, and the only one qualified to wipe that cute little butt is YOU. You will also find that when you are trying to qualify someone to see if they fit in your team, you will get so friendly that hours go by, and before you know it, three TV dorks have infiltrated your family. If you are on the West Coast, I betcha all the training calls are right around dinner time. My family got very used to listening to training with me on the speaker phone, but it took me ages to train them all to be quiet when I had to “unmute” my phone to chime into a conversation. You will start answering emails while your kids sleep (when do we work at home moms sleep? NEVER!!), and once you get busy and successful, you will carry the laptop around with you while you sort underwear. Or you will train your oldest child how to send pre-written email responses back :).

Doing shows is also quit tiring, unless you are so lucky to love your mom enough to let her live with you. Otherwise, your $300 to $500 show can quickly turn very measly because you have to pay a sitter every night. And we all know the “I will get you all home by 8pm, I promise!” is a big joke. I don’t care how bitchy I was, I was always tied up in conversations or finishing ONE LAST ORDER, so I was always home late when my kids were already in bed. Your husband will hate you, unless you have your mom to watch the kids instead of him, of course.

Don’t get me wrong, I LOVE direct sales and working from home, and was damn good at it. (cuz’ I love to talk :)…) I support WAHM’s vigorously.

But I gave it up about a year ago to spend more time with my kids…..

🙂

It’s ironic…

Today I see this headline in my inbox:

“Spend More Time with Your Kids – 150 Home Businesses to Choose From”

Having had 3 home businesses in direct sales, and now making and selling goddess pendants on demand, I can promise you that you will spend LESS time with your kids when you have a home business. Plus, they will memorize every stupid kids’ show. You know, the ones you only let them watch to “shush” them while you are on the phone???

You can try to lay down the law and create business hours, but I guarantee you that one child will have a “HUGE poop” right in the middle of your conference call, and the only one qualified to wipe that cute little butt is YOU. You will also find that when you are trying to qualify someone to see if they fit in your team, you will get so friendly that hours go by, and before you know it, three TV dorks have infiltrated your family. If you are on the West Coast, I betcha all the training calls are right around dinner time. My family got very used to listening to training with me on the speaker phone, but it took me ages to train them all to be quiet when I had to “unmute” my phone to chime into a conversation. You will start answering emails while your kids sleep (when do we work at home moms sleep? NEVER!!), and once you get busy and successful, you will carry the laptop around with you while you sort underwear. Or you will train your oldest child how to send pre-written email responses back :).

Doing shows is also quit tiring, unless you are so lucky to love your mom enough to let her live with you. Otherwise, your $300 to $500 show can quickly turn very measly because you have to pay a sitter every night. And we all know the “I will get you all home by 8pm, I promise!” is a big joke. I don’t care how bitchy I was, I was always tied up in conversations or finishing ONE LAST ORDER, so I was always home late when my kids were already in bed. Your husband will hate you, unless you have your mom to watch the kids instead of him, of course.

Don’t get me wrong, I LOVE direct sales and working from home, and was damn good at it. (cuz’ I love to talk :)…) I support WAHM’s vigorously.

But I gave it up about a year ago to spend more time with my kids…..

🙂