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Monthly Archives: February 2008

Thank Goddess for the internet, Part 2

Yesterday I told you about the wonderful woman I met on the internet, Antoinette of Creatress’s Creations. We had so much fun emailing, we decided to meet for coffee today.

We did a Goddess Exchange!! :)…Don’t be jealous, but I received 3 (!) super cool necklaces, picked out JUST FOR ME!! Antoinette puts little treasures in resin and makes pendants out of them. She picked a shell (for the mermaid in me), and a woman out of an old magazine (for the vintage kitscher in me!), as well as making me a necklace out of many different red hued beads. How did she know I was into red this week as I am clearing my first chakra??? Who knows…Coincidently, we have discovered many common traits, and many paths that have brought us together. Antoinette picked my purple star goddess to be her own, and they are a perfect match!

I would post some pics for you, but unfortunately I have no idea where my camera cable is taking residence at this time. We are also missing: one checkbook, one Titti Bear (Purple, and roars. A reward is offered!), one Athena shoe belonging my dh’s doll, one computer ear phone that lets me use Skype while on my laptop.

Now, if the real live ME, and my boisterous children did not scare her away, I have met a soul sister on the internet :).

Thank Goddess for the internet!

In the last few years, I have “met” some of a my closest friends on the internet :)…a few years ago, that would have labeled me as “freaky”, oui?

I swore off forums some time back, because they suck me in and spit me out HOURS later. But a few days ago, I registered on a local forum to promote my book and get some local exposure for my business. A women saw my post and emailed me, and I have found another soul sister! We have been emailing since, and finding many, eerie, similarities (and I mean this in a good eerie way!), and while I am thinking about blogging about this phenomenon, she did :).

Creatress’s Creations

Viva la internet!

Thank Goddess for the internet!

In the last few years, I have “met” some of a my closest friends on the internet :)…a few years ago, that would have labeled me as “freaky”, oui?

I swore off forums some time back, because they suck me in and spit me out HOURS later. But a few days ago, I registered on a local forum to promote my book and get some local exposure for my business. A women saw my post and emailed me, and I have found another soul sister! We have been emailing since, and finding many, eerie, similarities (and I mean this in a good eerie way!), and while I am thinking about blogging about this phenomenon, she did :).

Creatress’s Creations

Viva la internet!

Things I don’t forget….

It is amazing what my brain stores, and what I can forget on a drop of a hat.

What I will never forget:
1. The words to “Brick House” from the Commodores. I sang this in fourth grade on stage with my friend Holly. We were two very white girls in satin blouses :). The foam from my microphone fell off and I kept on singing and dancing. We grooved. We did not win, but then the judges had no clue :)…of course.

2. My Oma’s phone number. She has had the same number since I was born. She moved recently, and had to change her number. Now I am screwed unless I have computer, my phone, or my Palm with me.

3. Every word to various other songs from the 80’s. My favorite singers that I can imitate EXACTLY as my children stare at me in the car: Cyndi Lauper, Kajagoogo, PRINCE, Go Gos, Blondie, WHAM!, Madonna, Eurythmics, Fine Young Cannibals, Tina Turner (love her!! The last live concert I saw: TT’s What’s Love Got to do With It?….goddess, I am old!)

4. When someone screws me over. I may smile at you, but I still remember…

5. The day I had my accident.

6. The birth of my children. I forgot all the details, but the first time they looked in my eyes is burned into my brain.

7. The day in Amsterdam when I looked into the warm eyes of my then boyfriend and knew he was my soulmate.

What I cannot remember:

1. How old I am.

2. What time my children were born.

3. My SSN

4. Any type of appointment, date, or deadline that I do not write in my calendar.

5. Birthdays

6. Where I put my sunglasses….

Things I don’t forget….

It is amazing what my brain stores, and what I can forget on a drop of a hat.

What I will never forget:
1. The words to “Brick House” from the Commodores. I sang this in fourth grade on stage with my friend Holly. We were two very white girls in satin blouses :). The foam from my microphone fell off and I kept on singing and dancing. We grooved. We did not win, but then the judges had no clue :)…of course.

2. My Oma’s phone number. She has had the same number since I was born. She moved recently, and had to change her number. Now I am screwed unless I have computer, my phone, or my Palm with me.

3. Every word to various other songs from the 80’s. My favorite singers that I can imitate EXACTLY as my children stare at me in the car: Cyndi Lauper, Kajagoogo, PRINCE, Go Gos, Blondie, WHAM!, Madonna, Eurythmics, Fine Young Cannibals, Tina Turner (love her!! The last live concert I saw: TT’s What’s Love Got to do With It?….goddess, I am old!)

4. When someone screws me over. I may smile at you, but I still remember…

5. The day I had my accident.

6. The birth of my children. I forgot all the details, but the first time they looked in my eyes is burned into my brain.

7. The day in Amsterdam when I looked into the warm eyes of my then boyfriend and knew he was my soulmate.

What I cannot remember:

1. How old I am.

2. What time my children were born.

3. My SSN

4. Any type of appointment, date, or deadline that I do not write in my calendar.

5. Birthdays

6. Where I put my sunglasses….

Too Funny!

Thank you to my friend Sharon for passing this on to me. I am always open for a good laugh!

~~~~~~~~~~
Subject: John Cleese
Subject: To the citizens of the United States of America

In light of your failure to nominate competent candidates for
President of the USA and thus to govern yourselves, we hereby give
notice of the revocation of your independence, effective immediately.

Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume monarchical
duties over all states, commonwealths, and territories (except
Kansas, which she does not fancy).

Your new prime minister, Gordon Brown, will appoint a governor for
America without the need for further elections. Congress and the
Senate will be disbanded. A questionnaire may be circulated next
year to determine whether any of you noticed.

To aid in the transition to a British Crown Dependency, the
following rules are introduced with immediate effect:

You should look up “revocation” in the Oxford English Dictionary.

1. Then look up aluminum, and check the pronunciation guide. You
will be amazed at just how wrongly you have been pronouncing it.

2. The letter ‘U’ will be reinstated in words such as ‘favour’,
‘colour’, behaviour’ and ‘neighbour.’ Likewise, you will learn to
spell ‘doughnut’ without skipping half the letters, and the suffix
-ize will be replaced by the suffix -ise.

Generally, you will be expected to raise your vocabulary to
acceptable levels. (look up ‘vocabulary’).

3. Using the same twenty-seven words interspersed with filler
noises such as “like” and “you know” is an unacceptable and
inefficient form of communication.

There is no such thing as US English. We will let Microsoft know on
your behalf. The Microsoft spell-checker will be adjusted to take
account of the reinstated letter ‘u’ and the elimination of -ize.
You will relearn your original national anthem, God Save The Queen.

4. July 4th will no longer be celebrated as a holiday.

5. You will learn to resolve personal issues without using guns,
lawyers, or therapists. The fact that you need so many lawyers and
therapists shows that you’re not adult enough to be independent.

Guns should only be handled by adults. If you’re not adult enough
to sort things out without suing someone or speaking to a therapist
then you’re not grown up enough to handle a gun.

6. Therefore, you will no longer be allowed to own or carry
anything more dangerous than a vegetable peeler. A permit will be
required if you wish to carry a vegetable peeler in public.

7. All American cars are hereby banned. They are crap and this is
for your own good. When we show you German cars, you will
understand what we mean.

8. All intersections will be replaced with roundabouts, and you
will start driving on the left with immediate effect. At the same
time, you will go metric with immediate effect and without the
benefit of conversion tables.

Both roundabouts and metrication will help you understand the
British sense of humour.

9. The Former USA will adopt UK prices on petrol (which you have been
calling gasoline)-roughly $6/US gallon. Get used to it.

10. You will learn to make real chips. Those things you call French
fries are not real chips, and those things you insist on calling
potato chips are properly called crisps. Real chips are thick cut,
fried in animal fat, and dressed not with catsup but with vinegar.

11. The cold tasteless stuff you insist on calling beer is not
actually beer at all. Henceforth, only proper British Bitter will be
referred to as beer, and European brews of known and accepted
provenance will be referred to as Lager.

South African beer is also acceptable as they are pound for pound the
greatest sporting Nation on earth and it can only be due to the
beer. They are also part of British Commonwealth – see what it did
for them.

12. Hollywood will be required occasionally to cast English actors
as good guys. Hollywood will also be required to cast English
actors to play English characters.

Watching Andie McDowell attempt English dialogue in Four Weddings
and a Funeral was an experience akin to having one’s ears removed
with a cheese grater.

13. You will cease playing American football. There is only one
kind of proper football; you call it soccer. Those of you brave
enough will, in time, be allowed to play rugby (which has some
similarities to American football, but does not involve stopping
for a rest every twenty seconds or wearing full kevlar body armour
like a bunch of nancies). Don’t try Rugby – the South Africans and
Kiwis will thrash you, like they regularly thrash us.

14. Further, you will stop playing baseball. It is not reasonable
to host an event called the World Series for a game which is not
played outside of America. Since only 2.1% of you are aware that
there is a world beyond your borders, your error is understandable.
You will learn cricket, and we will let you face the South Africans
first to take the sting out of their deliveries.

15. You must tell us who killed JFK. It’s been driving us mad.

16. An internal revenue agent (i.e. tax collector) from Her Majesty’s
Government will be with you shortly to ensure the acquisition of
all monies due (backdated to 1776).

17. Daily Tea Time begins promptly at 4 pm with proper cups, never
mugs, with high quality biscuits (cookies) and cakes; strawberries
in season.

God save the Queen.

Only He can.

John Cleese

Too Funny!

Thank you to my friend Sharon for passing this on to me. I am always open for a good laugh!

~~~~~~~~~~
Subject: John Cleese
Subject: To the citizens of the United States of America

In light of your failure to nominate competent candidates for
President of the USA and thus to govern yourselves, we hereby give
notice of the revocation of your independence, effective immediately.

Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume monarchical
duties over all states, commonwealths, and territories (except
Kansas, which she does not fancy).

Your new prime minister, Gordon Brown, will appoint a governor for
America without the need for further elections. Congress and the
Senate will be disbanded. A questionnaire may be circulated next
year to determine whether any of you noticed.

To aid in the transition to a British Crown Dependency, the
following rules are introduced with immediate effect:

You should look up “revocation” in the Oxford English Dictionary.

1. Then look up aluminum, and check the pronunciation guide. You
will be amazed at just how wrongly you have been pronouncing it.

2. The letter ‘U’ will be reinstated in words such as ‘favour’,
‘colour’, behaviour’ and ‘neighbour.’ Likewise, you will learn to
spell ‘doughnut’ without skipping half the letters, and the suffix
-ize will be replaced by the suffix -ise.

Generally, you will be expected to raise your vocabulary to
acceptable levels. (look up ‘vocabulary’).

3. Using the same twenty-seven words interspersed with filler
noises such as “like” and “you know” is an unacceptable and
inefficient form of communication.

There is no such thing as US English. We will let Microsoft know on
your behalf. The Microsoft spell-checker will be adjusted to take
account of the reinstated letter ‘u’ and the elimination of -ize.
You will relearn your original national anthem, God Save The Queen.

4. July 4th will no longer be celebrated as a holiday.

5. You will learn to resolve personal issues without using guns,
lawyers, or therapists. The fact that you need so many lawyers and
therapists shows that you’re not adult enough to be independent.

Guns should only be handled by adults. If you’re not adult enough
to sort things out without suing someone or speaking to a therapist
then you’re not grown up enough to handle a gun.

6. Therefore, you will no longer be allowed to own or carry
anything more dangerous than a vegetable peeler. A permit will be
required if you wish to carry a vegetable peeler in public.

7. All American cars are hereby banned. They are crap and this is
for your own good. When we show you German cars, you will
understand what we mean.

8. All intersections will be replaced with roundabouts, and you
will start driving on the left with immediate effect. At the same
time, you will go metric with immediate effect and without the
benefit of conversion tables.

Both roundabouts and metrication will help you understand the
British sense of humour.

9. The Former USA will adopt UK prices on petrol (which you have been
calling gasoline)-roughly $6/US gallon. Get used to it.

10. You will learn to make real chips. Those things you call French
fries are not real chips, and those things you insist on calling
potato chips are properly called crisps. Real chips are thick cut,
fried in animal fat, and dressed not with catsup but with vinegar.

11. The cold tasteless stuff you insist on calling beer is not
actually beer at all. Henceforth, only proper British Bitter will be
referred to as beer, and European brews of known and accepted
provenance will be referred to as Lager.

South African beer is also acceptable as they are pound for pound the
greatest sporting Nation on earth and it can only be due to the
beer. They are also part of British Commonwealth – see what it did
for them.

12. Hollywood will be required occasionally to cast English actors
as good guys. Hollywood will also be required to cast English
actors to play English characters.

Watching Andie McDowell attempt English dialogue in Four Weddings
and a Funeral was an experience akin to having one’s ears removed
with a cheese grater.

13. You will cease playing American football. There is only one
kind of proper football; you call it soccer. Those of you brave
enough will, in time, be allowed to play rugby (which has some
similarities to American football, but does not involve stopping
for a rest every twenty seconds or wearing full kevlar body armour
like a bunch of nancies). Don’t try Rugby – the South Africans and
Kiwis will thrash you, like they regularly thrash us.

14. Further, you will stop playing baseball. It is not reasonable
to host an event called the World Series for a game which is not
played outside of America. Since only 2.1% of you are aware that
there is a world beyond your borders, your error is understandable.
You will learn cricket, and we will let you face the South Africans
first to take the sting out of their deliveries.

15. You must tell us who killed JFK. It’s been driving us mad.

16. An internal revenue agent (i.e. tax collector) from Her Majesty’s
Government will be with you shortly to ensure the acquisition of
all monies due (backdated to 1776).

17. Daily Tea Time begins promptly at 4 pm with proper cups, never
mugs, with high quality biscuits (cookies) and cakes; strawberries
in season.

God save the Queen.

Only He can.

John Cleese

Road Trip!

For years we (I mostly, as I am the adventurous one, and my dh is the sane one) have dreamed of selling our house and possessions, buying a RV, and traveling around the country.

Well, as CA is in a housing FART right now, we could hardly buy a Geo Metro with our house….let alone buy a $$$ RV and live like royalty on the proceeds of our house.

BUT!! Just send that intention into the universe long and hard enough, and something will materialize. You may have to be a bit flexible….

Meet our new dream wagon….it is only 8 years younger than I am….LOL!

It sleeps 4 and one dog. Yipee! We are taking votes on the new paint job:

Purple with red flames.

Turquoise with red flames.

Pink with big purple flowers :).

Road Trip!

For years we (I mostly, as I am the adventurous one, and my dh is the sane one) have dreamed of selling our house and possessions, buying a RV, and traveling around the country.

Well, as CA is in a housing FART right now, we could hardly buy a Geo Metro with our house….let alone buy a $$$ RV and live like royalty on the proceeds of our house.

BUT!! Just send that intention into the universe long and hard enough, and something will materialize. You may have to be a bit flexible….

Meet our new dream wagon….it is only 8 years younger than I am….LOL!

It sleeps 4 and one dog. Yipee! We are taking votes on the new paint job:

Purple with red flames.

Turquoise with red flames.

Pink with big purple flowers :).

Germiland

I live in Germiland.

It seems that after being coughed on all night, catching flying snot with my hands, not sleeping for about 3 weeks as each member of my family went through one phase of this sickness in time-warp….

IT HIT ME!

I woke up on Thursday feeling like someone had slapped me over the head with a pan. No fever, but coughing like my insides were crying to get out, and SOOOOOOOOOOOOO tired. My poor kids, I don’t even want to talk about how crabby I was! Snot everywhere, and I will be damned that my dog did not get fatigued at all, even though he was stealing snotty Kleenex constantly and eating them. Monster..no respect for a sick women.

The timing was the worst, as I had my “live” book signing on Sunday. I was under the influence of DayQuil, which I normally never take. I try to let sickness heal the natural way, but this called for drugs. I must say, the Ouzo my friend graced me with that evening made me feel a thousand times better and cleared my stuffy head. It was a great evening with women (who had to read the book themselves, as I was the Goddess of Cough, even with drugs) and food. my favorite.

Bless my heart, I could just cry when someone reads my book and says: “OMG, I can totally relate to this!”. I love sharing.

I will post some pictures when I get them, as every picture I took seems to be of the back of someone’s head or butt.