My kids know how important my glass of w(h)ine is at the end of MY day. At Trader Joe’s, they march to the Two Buck Chuck shelf and grab a few bottles without me even asking as I am waiting to check out. My son always announces why he is getting the wine he walks back to me, you know, just in case the other patrons don’t realize is mother is a w(h)ino? “Here mama, one for today, one for tomorrow, and a bottle for daddy.”


Here is a short version of my day, without the extras (such as green food coloring experiments):

1. Get up, throw on sweats and a hat to hide bed-head, strap up the dog, and walk for an hour.
2. Come home, make coffee, first round of waking Mr. Heike and kids.
3. Second round of waking. Get first cup of coffee and read email in peace.
4. GET UP!!! IT IS LATE!!!
5. Set the breakfast table, get more coffee, run in the bathroom and get ready before everyone really gets up. Use last chence to do MY hair before we hit the street.
7. You have 15 minutes to get dressed and eat before I leave!!
8. Last resort, let the dog in from outside. HE wakes up the family with big paws and doggy butt licks. 🙂
9. One more cup of coffee, idle conversation with sleepy family. Run down of responsibilities and happenings with Mr. Heike, since we only see each other for short spurts until Sunday.
10. Drive forever, go rollerskating. Kids skate 2 hours while I catch up (bitch) with friends :), hawking my water and health bars I smuggled in from “outside”.
11. Race back to our side of town for swim lessons.
12. Go home, eat lunch, do schoolwork, play with dog, more schoolwork, schedule more lessons….
12. Prepare mystery cassarole I found in an old cookbook at the library, keep kids and dog from eating my mystery ingredients! Make dog slop because he has not been eating well since virgin grooming experience. I wonder if the hairlessness is making him LOOK skinny or I traumatized him for life??
14. Take kids to Capoeira. Thank goddess for coffee.
15. Go home, eat dinner, start folding 10 billion tons of laundry.
16. Keep bag to the side and throw in whatever I don’t want to fold.
17. Clean out closet as I go, since I don’t have any friggin’ room to put my folded clothes.
18. Discover a whole bin of clothes in the closet, basically a second set to the clothes Heike Jr. has. You know, the one who has nothing to wear?? Sweet pea has inherited my genes.
19. This is why I should NEVER be allowed a credit card: ebay. List the clothes with TAGS on them that we found in the bag, and add some to it, because we have enough for another family.
20. Label the 5 bags of Laundry, er…clothes to donate.
21. OMG!!! Empty laundry baskets!!! Congratulaltions, Heike, have a glass of wine!
22. Vacuum up 3 tons of dog hair. Seems like he is shedding twice as much since we had him groomed…grrr…My piece of shit vacuum will be replaced immediately. List on Freecycle, with dog hair.
23. Do dishes, since we DO NOT HAVE A DISHWASHER!! What did I have children for???
24. Let dog out.
25. Pour w(h)ine.
11.15 PM….aaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.
26. Pour more w(h)ine.
27. Call mom. W(h)ine, w(h)ine, w(h)ine.

Throw away bottle, go to bed.

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