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Monthly Archives: May 2008

Who would they trade me with??

Yesterday we happened to watch Trading Spouses – Meet the New Mommy.

OMG :).

We had the Louisiana Bayou Queen (who I loved, BTW) who did alligator tours, and the San Diego, CA, vegan woman (who I hated after 2 minutes).

Ok, the Californian was a bit uptight. I realize extremes are what make this show happen, but it really sparked some questions in this household:

Mr. Heike: “What?? They get $50,000?? Where do we sign you up?”
Kids: “HaHA!! Who would they trade Mama with??” (I will save you what they said, don’t want to offend anyone, LOL!)
Rex: “Woof. Whatever, as long as she walks me!”

Really, who would they trade me with? I thought of my extreme opposite traits:
1. Works full time
2. Soccer mom
3. Kids go to public school, and have sport practice every day.
4. Sport meets every weekend.
5. Fast or convenience food every day.
6. Eat on the go all the time.
7. commute, commute, commute
8. Never touches alchohol
9. PTA
10.Church, very religious
11. Polluter
12. Brand clothes
13. Never a thrift store, only to drop things off
14. Hates big dogs, loves little yappy lap dogs that sleep on the couch or, eek!, in the bed.
15. Rap music lover 🙂
16. Loves to clean
17. No drums, ever
18. Early riser, early to bed
19. No computer
20. No Goddesses

Then I found this from a past show. Enjoy!

And we ended it with a baaaa and some cow poop

Our school year is OFFICIALLY over!

And we survived our first year of homeschooling! It was a year of trial and errors, and growth. Of course, next year we will do everything different!

Thursday was our last day of school, and what better way to celebrate this than at the County Fair??? I am a woman of little words today, so I will visually guide through some high points:

Dolly, who has to be the coolest sheep ever! I just wanted to take her home! No worries, she was not being mistreated, and her wool was super soft. Imagine shearing her and spinning up a sweater!

Our little Garden in a Wheelbarrow. Yes, we were official entrants. Our garden turned out a bit sad, especially after a raccoon (REX!!!) dumped the first set of seeds, and we were obliged to use the seeds they furnished. Or so we though, as we received a letter 2 weeks before our drop off that we could add MORE to it. Ok, that was not happening. Our story board rocked though, and I think we should have won 1st place!


I admit, I am a cow lover. The smell of cow poop takes me right back to my childhood, and the animal barns are always my first destination at the Fair. I am happy we are vegetarians now, that was always a bit of a sticky situation, you know, kiss the cow on the head and then bite off her butt…..Heike Jr. #2 is a true farmer, and he and I will buy a farm one day while the other half of the family lives in the city and makes the big bucks…I swear this baby cow was talking to him!


The way to end the day, my favorite cake, thankfully sent to me by genius and soul saver Paula Dean. May I present: The Hummingbird Cake (minus the frosting!). Check out who is waiting for me to turn my back, ’cause he likes my Hummingbird Cake too!!

And we ended it with a baaaa and some cow poop

Our school year is OFFICIALLY over!

And we survived our first year of homeschooling! It was a year of trial and errors, and growth. Of course, next year we will do everything different!

Thursday was our last day of school, and what better way to celebrate this than at the County Fair??? I am a woman of little words today, so I will visually guide through some high points:

Dolly, who has to be the coolest sheep ever! I just wanted to take her home! No worries, she was not being mistreated, and her wool was super soft. Imagine shearing her and spinning up a sweater!

Our little Garden in a Wheelbarrow. Yes, we were official entrants. Our garden turned out a bit sad, especially after a raccoon (REX!!!) dumped the first set of seeds, and we were obliged to use the seeds they furnished. Or so we though, as we received a letter 2 weeks before our drop off that we could add MORE to it. Ok, that was not happening. Our story board rocked though, and I think we should have won 1st place!


I admit, I am a cow lover. The smell of cow poop takes me right back to my childhood, and the animal barns are always my first destination at the Fair. I am happy we are vegetarians now, that was always a bit of a sticky situation, you know, kiss the cow on the head and then bite off her butt…..Heike Jr. #2 is a true farmer, and he and I will buy a farm one day while the other half of the family lives in the city and makes the big bucks…I swear this baby cow was talking to him!


The way to end the day, my favorite cake, thankfully sent to me by genius and soul saver Paula Dean. May I present: The Hummingbird Cake (minus the frosting!). Check out who is waiting for me to turn my back, ’cause he likes my Hummingbird Cake too!!

Weird, Whacky Weekend full of Wrecks

This weekend brought strange things about this house :).

My daughter lost her first molar, and she is 10 and a half. It was her silver crowned one, and it just fell right out. Is this premium for the tooth fairy?? Worth more than just a plain ol’ enamel tooth?? We will see…..

After just about melting away a few days ago, I ordered a swamp cooler for my non-airconditioned bedroom (that used to be our garage). The day it was delivered, the Weird Wind came and lasted for 2 days (talk about making people whacky, including myself!), and the temperature cooled off. The next day it rained. My living plants thanked the goddess, and I am saving a tremendous amount of energy…

This weekend was supposed to be my Big Birthday Getaway. Normally, we BBQ on Memorial Day, because my birthday always falls around there. But since my non cyber friends seem to have dwindled away in the last few years (or they just don’t think my birthday is important enough to cancel other Memorial Day activities!!!) and I am always stuck with a party of no people, we decided to go to the beach in the Big Blue Van. WELL, the Gas God sure kicked me in the ass on that one!! (and I should really analyse why my cyber friends are my life line :)…I love y’all!!).

This is where I spent my Sunday instead:

Obviously, not the beach.

Instead, I got to accompany Mr. Heike to man’s heaven, the car junk yard. This place is called Pick n’ Pull, and you pay to get in, dismantle whatever part you need for your car, and pay a small fee for the part. It is a bit of a macabre Disneyland for men :). Seriously, when I walked in, I expected all the cars to hop off their makeshift car jacks and start dancing. Very eerie.

Mr. Heike was there earlier this morning and thought he saw the perfect captain seats for the Big Blue Van. Either someone else just happened to need them too, or his idea of an acceptable seat and mine are WAAAAAAYYYYYY different. Eww…is all I can say. Those wrecks told me some unbelievable stories. Thank the goddess I had to go pee, and got to wait in the car for Mr. Heike to finish twiddling around in there.

Weird, Whacky Weekend full of Wrecks

This weekend brought strange things about this house :).

My daughter lost her first molar, and she is 10 and a half. It was her silver crowned one, and it just fell right out. Is this premium for the tooth fairy?? Worth more than just a plain ol’ enamel tooth?? We will see…..

After just about melting away a few days ago, I ordered a swamp cooler for my non-airconditioned bedroom (that used to be our garage). The day it was delivered, the Weird Wind came and lasted for 2 days (talk about making people whacky, including myself!), and the temperature cooled off. The next day it rained. My living plants thanked the goddess, and I am saving a tremendous amount of energy…

This weekend was supposed to be my Big Birthday Getaway. Normally, we BBQ on Memorial Day, because my birthday always falls around there. But since my non cyber friends seem to have dwindled away in the last few years (or they just don’t think my birthday is important enough to cancel other Memorial Day activities!!!) and I am always stuck with a party of no people, we decided to go to the beach in the Big Blue Van. WELL, the Gas God sure kicked me in the ass on that one!! (and I should really analyse why my cyber friends are my life line :)…I love y’all!!).

This is where I spent my Sunday instead:

Obviously, not the beach.

Instead, I got to accompany Mr. Heike to man’s heaven, the car junk yard. This place is called Pick n’ Pull, and you pay to get in, dismantle whatever part you need for your car, and pay a small fee for the part. It is a bit of a macabre Disneyland for men :). Seriously, when I walked in, I expected all the cars to hop off their makeshift car jacks and start dancing. Very eerie.

Mr. Heike was there earlier this morning and thought he saw the perfect captain seats for the Big Blue Van. Either someone else just happened to need them too, or his idea of an acceptable seat and mine are WAAAAAAYYYYYY different. Eww…is all I can say. Those wrecks told me some unbelievable stories. Thank the goddess I had to go pee, and got to wait in the car for Mr. Heike to finish twiddling around in there.

Is Blogging like High School?


The other day I read one of my favorite BBFF blogs. My BBFF (Best Blog Friend Forever)stated how she knew she would be blasted for what she was going to write, and how she knew she would be judged, and so on. Then the same thing on another BBFF blog! These are both wonderful, intelligent, super cool women. I sat, scrolling through the comments, and thought: “Geez, this is like High School!”.

There are the POPULAR GIRLS, the ones who’s blogs are so fabulous, and that have an entourage that follows them no matter what. They are constantly under scrutiny of:

The HATERS, the ones who like to comment on your blog and blast you with their opinions and judgment, and get off on making you look bad.

There are the ANONYMOUS commentators, the ones who like to blast you with their opinions and judgment, and get off on making you look bad, but don’t have the CAJONES to put their name where their words are. (They are the same ones who put your phone number on the boys bathroom wall with “SLUT” above it, so puberty stricken boys could call your house in the middle of the night.)

The NERDS (like me?) who use their blogs as a form of expression and sanity saving. It is like talking to yourself, except you type. Every once in a while, someone answers :). You then find your cyber BBFF’s….

There are the BBFF’s, the ones who love you for who you are, always give you feedback, always leave a small token of their visit…..

If one BBFF is in need, the others are right there, and they spread the word, do some cyber fundraising and cyber hugging.

See, and if you piss off one BBFF, you better hold on to your ass, because the other BBFF’s are right there as back up.

Is Blogging like High School?


The other day I read one of my favorite BBFF blogs. My BBFF (Best Blog Friend Forever)stated how she knew she would be blasted for what she was going to write, and how she knew she would be judged, and so on. Then the same thing on another BBFF blog! These are both wonderful, intelligent, super cool women. I sat, scrolling through the comments, and thought: “Geez, this is like High School!”.

There are the POPULAR GIRLS, the ones who’s blogs are so fabulous, and that have an entourage that follows them no matter what. They are constantly under scrutiny of:

The HATERS, the ones who like to comment on your blog and blast you with their opinions and judgment, and get off on making you look bad.

There are the ANONYMOUS commentators, the ones who like to blast you with their opinions and judgment, and get off on making you look bad, but don’t have the CAJONES to put their name where their words are. (They are the same ones who put your phone number on the boys bathroom wall with “SLUT” above it, so puberty stricken boys could call your house in the middle of the night.)

The NERDS (like me?) who use their blogs as a form of expression and sanity saving. It is like talking to yourself, except you type. Every once in a while, someone answers :). You then find your cyber BBFF’s….

There are the BBFF’s, the ones who love you for who you are, always give you feedback, always leave a small token of their visit…..

If one BBFF is in need, the others are right there, and they spread the word, do some cyber fundraising and cyber hugging.

See, and if you piss off one BBFF, you better hold on to your ass, because the other BBFF’s are right there as back up.

Save me, I am melting!

OH MY GODDESS!

103 degrees yesterday, 100 today.

What the hell??

I am wilting away very quickly..will have to go dip in the river tomorrow for that shot of cool water mojo.

Every summer, I swear I am going to leave this place and go live somewhere cool. Yes, we have the great fruit and tomatoes, but that is because we live by the gates of literal Hell. And normally, I don’t have to start whining until the end of June.

I will let you in on a few of my survival tips, had to go back to my German, “no air-conditioners” roots:

1. Make sure your beer is super cold. Nothing like ICE COLD (read this, you restaurant moron who serves me WARM beer!) beer on a hot evening.

2. Early in the morning, cook pasta and tortellini. You can always make something with pasta and tortellini.

3. Mr. Heike finally paid attention to a story about mad cow disease, and suggested we no longer eat meat. That puts a dent in my “cold cut” dinners, but thank the Goddess for cheese, cucumbers, salmon, and Swedish fish paste (can be purchased at IKEA..and such).

4. Hang vinyl blinds OUTSIDE of your big windows. Sure, we now look like white trash, especially with the Big Blue Van sitting next to the driveway on the lawn. But HEY, at the end of this hot summer, we will actually be able to afford some gas for it!

5. Anything you have to cook must taste good BBQ’d, because there is no way I am feeding Hell by cooking anything on the stove or in the oven after 10 am.

6. Don’t go outside after 11 am unless you have to, or you are going to the river!

My poor veggies are used to not getting watered, but they are suffering. I basically had to sing to my tomatoes this morning to keep them from just giving up.


Even Rex is too hot go outside, he told me to “walk myself”!

Save me, I am melting!

OH MY GODDESS!

103 degrees yesterday, 100 today.

What the hell??

I am wilting away very quickly..will have to go dip in the river tomorrow for that shot of cool water mojo.

Every summer, I swear I am going to leave this place and go live somewhere cool. Yes, we have the great fruit and tomatoes, but that is because we live by the gates of literal Hell. And normally, I don’t have to start whining until the end of June.

I will let you in on a few of my survival tips, had to go back to my German, “no air-conditioners” roots:

1. Make sure your beer is super cold. Nothing like ICE COLD (read this, you restaurant moron who serves me WARM beer!) beer on a hot evening.

2. Early in the morning, cook pasta and tortellini. You can always make something with pasta and tortellini.

3. Mr. Heike finally paid attention to a story about mad cow disease, and suggested we no longer eat meat. That puts a dent in my “cold cut” dinners, but thank the Goddess for cheese, cucumbers, salmon, and Swedish fish paste (can be purchased at IKEA..and such).

4. Hang vinyl blinds OUTSIDE of your big windows. Sure, we now look like white trash, especially with the Big Blue Van sitting next to the driveway on the lawn. But HEY, at the end of this hot summer, we will actually be able to afford some gas for it!

5. Anything you have to cook must taste good BBQ’d, because there is no way I am feeding Hell by cooking anything on the stove or in the oven after 10 am.

6. Don’t go outside after 11 am unless you have to, or you are going to the river!

My poor veggies are used to not getting watered, but they are suffering. I basically had to sing to my tomatoes this morning to keep them from just giving up.

Even Rex is too hot go outside, he told me to “walk myself”!

Another man left me…


If you have been with me for a few years, you know I am a “hair girl”. My hair goes from short to long, long to short, red, brown, black, streaked, back to brown….all in a matter of a few weeks.

My hair is straight as a stick, and be jealous all you curly haired maidens that I always envied!! Now is my time to shine!!! 🙂 Really, my hair loves me, otherwise it would have left me for bald after everything I put it through.

Lately, my hair has been pretty short. I have it cut every 3 or 4 (crazy!!) weeks, so I go to MasterCuts, where I pay $15.95. Yep, $20 with tip. That is because it does not matter if I pay $20 or $200 (yes, I have, really) to get my hair cut. I never like it anyways, and I ALWAYS go home and “fix” it since these young’uns don’t seem to know what a 20’s style bob looks like…. Being the comfort animal that I am, I found a guy at MC who cut my hair just like I wanted it, he understood. I only had to speak a few words of stupid polite conversation, and it was ok to watch in silence as he fixed my hair and my overall mood. Then I would go home and dye it whatever color grabbed me and covered the gray.

I “thought” we had an understanding that he would call me and let me know where he was working when he quit (sounds like a fling gone bad??), but I called to get a cut and HE IS GONE!! No notice to ME????

That sucks.
Just so you know MC Man, I am over you.
The other guy cut my hair, and it is JUST FINE!

P.S. Image is of the book: “Art Deco Hair: Hairstyles of the 1920s and 1930s by Daniela Turudich