OH MY GODDESS!

103 degrees yesterday, 100 today.

What the hell??

I am wilting away very quickly..will have to go dip in the river tomorrow for that shot of cool water mojo.

Every summer, I swear I am going to leave this place and go live somewhere cool. Yes, we have the great fruit and tomatoes, but that is because we live by the gates of literal Hell. And normally, I don’t have to start whining until the end of June.

I will let you in on a few of my survival tips, had to go back to my German, “no air-conditioners” roots:

1. Make sure your beer is super cold. Nothing like ICE COLD (read this, you restaurant moron who serves me WARM beer!) beer on a hot evening.

2. Early in the morning, cook pasta and tortellini. You can always make something with pasta and tortellini.

3. Mr. Heike finally paid attention to a story about mad cow disease, and suggested we no longer eat meat. That puts a dent in my “cold cut” dinners, but thank the Goddess for cheese, cucumbers, salmon, and Swedish fish paste (can be purchased at IKEA..and such).

4. Hang vinyl blinds OUTSIDE of your big windows. Sure, we now look like white trash, especially with the Big Blue Van sitting next to the driveway on the lawn. But HEY, at the end of this hot summer, we will actually be able to afford some gas for it!

5. Anything you have to cook must taste good BBQ’d, because there is no way I am feeding Hell by cooking anything on the stove or in the oven after 10 am.

6. Don’t go outside after 11 am unless you have to, or you are going to the river!

My poor veggies are used to not getting watered, but they are suffering. I basically had to sing to my tomatoes this morning to keep them from just giving up.

Even Rex is too hot go outside, he told me to “walk myself”!

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