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Monthly Archives: May 2012

I am creating my destiny ~ OR ~ The Little Lemon That Could

I am often in my garden with my plants when epiphany hits, and all of a sudden everything is much clearer. Today was no exception.

I was moving my family’s junk off a pot that holds my sad little lemon tree. It is only 2 years old, and did not fare well a few months ago when our weather was swaying like a drunk sailor. It had just started blooming, and just gave up and dropped almost all its’ leaves. My husband kept saying: “That lemon tree is dead. Look at it.” “No, No” I say. I gave it some organic, stinky fish solution, it got my extra special attention which means: water. I would go out every other day and inspect the bare, dry little branches.

As I was moving the nets away, I looked up, and THERE was a little lemon! Yippee!! I see  some new leaves. I walk around and there were some more little lemons! The little tree, bare as it is, has squeezed out some lemons.

What does this have to do with me?

I am like the little lemon tree right now. Bare, exhausted, and down to my last leaf. For months, I have been searching my soul for ways to make an income, knowing that I either need have the million dollar idea/breakthrough, or having to find employment. Bills looming, financial stress is shit for the spirit, and it stresses a marriage. After visiting a doctor for stomach problems that I believed came from my diet, and learning that it could be stress, I began evaluating my life and finding that some things needed to change….immediately.

A few days ago, I received an email with the title “Announcing the free Biz & Blog Star Workshop ebook” from Leonie Dawson. Right away I hear in my head “Do I really want to blog? I already have a biz..bla, bla, bla…” Instead of deleting it, I clicked on the link. I devoured the 64 pages, and felt inspired to get my ass of the chair and do SOMETHING. For weeks I have copying & pasting, looking for backgrounds, learning code…getting frustrated about not getting anywhere with my “revamped” website. In the workbook was a chapter dedicated to having a website, and doing it NOW. Yes, I know I have a website, but there is a new, more me, website in the universe waiting to emerge. There is a whole section on visualizing, and stating what I want from my business, and to create that goal. (see P.S. below)

I have decided to take the things that STRESS me and make me miserable and just eliminate them. Things do always have to be Heike perfect, they can be simplified and initiated immediately. I have also decided to put ME first right now so that I can accomplish some of the things that I have been meaning to do for years. I knew this transformation was  blooming, and just needed a swift kick to get rolling,  when I announced to my family that: “We are going to Sedona for my birthday. I don’t care how, or if we can only go long enough for me to roll in the red dirt, but we are going!”. I have been called to Sedona FOR YEARS, yet, I have always put other things before me going. In only 7 days, I will be on the way to my Spirit Trip :).

Clearly,  a change is on the horizon, and no matter how “done” you are, and how miserable things seem, attitude can move mountains. I have been listening to “Ask and it is Given” by Abraham Hicks a lot, and realize that I have not been ASKING…or…. I have been ASKING, but turned away before I got an ANSWER :).

With my little lemon tree as an inspiration, I decided TODAY is the day to say good bye to excuses, kick the barriers in the ass, and start growing some balls, ER, lemons = dollars. It is not just about money, but also about accomplishment & sharing my talents, all the while LOVING what I do and being happy.  I took a box I made some years ago (see picture), dusted it off, and deemed it my Creation Box (thanks to some guidance from Abraham, I will put it to excellent use) with an official tag, and started filling it up with the things I NEED/WANT. Gotta’ take advantage of the powerful push of the New Moon with is in my sign, Gemini :).

This week, I will plow through the craziness I call my life, collected & calm, while at the same time plotting my emergence as a business maven. I will do it with style, and without giving up my slightly chaotic nature. I will look forward to meeting “a new friend that will change your life forever…” (horoscope) and will “keep my sanity by taking a good book or ipod on that trip that will bring you and your family together for many hours at a time.” (Teen Vogue horoscope…thanks to my 14yr old) when I embark on my Spirit Trip in the wee hours of the night next Sunday.

Dig deep for your lemon tree, Beautifuls!
H. 🙂

P.S. I will make a commercial depicting this experience soon :)..and ask Sandra Bullock to play me. Yes, I am
an Ambassador for the GoddessGuideBook.com, which is where the link upstairs goes to. That is because I LOVE it, Leonie is a business Goddess and I want to copy her, and
everything I have experienced so far has been marvelous…but check it
out, this workshop is FREE…so you only have something to gain, like I
did.

P

I am creating my destiny ~ OR ~ The Little Lemon That Could

I am often in my garden with my plants when epiphany hits, and all of a sudden everything is much clearer. Today was no exception.

I was moving my family’s junk off a pot that holds my sad little lemon tree. It is only 2 years old, and did not fare well a few months ago when our weather was swaying like a drunk sailor. It had just started blooming, and just gave up and dropped almost all its’ leaves. My husband kept saying: “That lemon tree is dead. Look at it.” “No, No” I say. I gave it some organic, stinky fish solution, it got my extra special attention which means: water. I would go out every other day and inspect the bare, dry little branches.

As I was moving the nets away, I looked up, and THERE was a little lemon! Yippee!! I see  some new leaves. I walk around and there were some more little lemons! The little tree, bare as it is, has squeezed out some lemons.

What does this have to do with me?

I am like the little lemon tree right now. Bare, exhausted, and down to my last leaf. For months, I have been searching my soul for ways to make an income, knowing that I either need have the million dollar idea/breakthrough, or having to find employment. Bills looming, financial stress is shit for the spirit, and it stresses a marriage. After visiting a doctor for stomach problems that I believed came from my diet, and learning that it could be stress, I began evaluating my life and finding that some things needed to change….immediately.

A few days ago, I received an email with the title “Announcing the free Biz & Blog Star Workshop ebook” from Leonie Dawson. Right away I hear in my head “Do I really want to blog? I already have a biz..bla, bla, bla…” Instead of deleting it, I clicked on the link. I devoured the 64 pages, and felt inspired to get my ass of the chair and do SOMETHING. For weeks I have copying & pasting, looking for backgrounds, learning code…getting frustrated about not getting anywhere with my “revamped” website. In the workbook was a chapter dedicated to having a website, and doing it NOW. Yes, I know I have a website, but there is a new, more me, website in the universe waiting to emerge. There is a whole section on visualizing, and stating what I want from my business, and to create that goal. (see P.S. below)

I have decided to take the things that STRESS me and make me miserable and just eliminate them. Things do always have to be Heike perfect, they can be simplified and initiated immediately. I have also decided to put ME first right now so that I can accomplish some of the things that I have been meaning to do for years. I knew this transformation was  blooming, and just needed a swift kick to get rolling,  when I announced to my family that: “We are going to Sedona for my birthday. I don’t care how, or if we can only go long enough for me to roll in the red dirt, but we are going!”. I have been called to Sedona FOR YEARS, yet, I have always put other things before me going. In only 7 days, I will be on the way to my Spirit Trip :).

Clearly,  a change is on the horizon, and no matter how “done” you are, and how miserable things seem, attitude can move mountains. I have been listening to “Ask and it is Given” by Abraham Hicks a lot, and realize that I have not been ASKING…or…. I have been ASKING, but turned away before I got an ANSWER :).

With my little lemon tree as an inspiration, I decided TODAY is the day to say good bye to excuses, kick the barriers in the ass, and start growing some balls, ER, lemons = dollars. It is not just about money, but also about accomplishment & sharing my talents, all the while LOVING what I do and being happy.  I took a box I made some years ago (see picture), dusted it off, and deemed it my Creation Box (thanks to some guidance from Abraham, I will put it to excellent use) with an official tag, and started filling it up with the things I NEED/WANT. Gotta’ take advantage of the powerful push of the New Moon with is in my sign, Gemini :).

This week, I will plow through the craziness I call my life, collected & calm, while at the same time plotting my emergence as a business maven. I will do it with style, and without giving up my slightly chaotic nature. I will look forward to meeting “a new friend that will change your life forever…” (horoscope) and will “keep my sanity by taking a good book or ipod on that trip that will bring you and your family together for many hours at a time.” (Teen Vogue horoscope…thanks to my 14yr old) when I embark on my Spirit Trip in the wee hours of the night next Sunday.

Dig deep for your lemon tree, Beautifuls!
H. 🙂

P.S. I will make a commercial depicting this experience soon :)..and ask Sandra Bullock to play me. Yes, I am an Ambassador for the GoddessGuideBook.com, which is where the link upstairs goes to. That is because I LOVE it, Leonie is a business Goddess and I want to copy her, and everything I have experienced so far has been marvelous…but check it out, this workshop is FREE…so you only have something to gain, like I did.

P

Where did THAT come from? New discoveries on the “same ol’ path”.

Sometimes, it takes a new mindset to see what is really in front of you.

I have been making many changes lately. Some are physical, but most of them are internal….they are all between me & my brain.

This morning, I had the most amazing experience. I live close to a large park, and have been walking this park for about 14 years. This morning I woke up early, so I decided to walk my dog in the rising sun :). It’s quite beautiful early in the morning, and cool enough for both of us.

I have been grappling with health issues for the last few years. Recently, I visited a new doctor, and he suggested I analyze my “stress”. Interesting. My mom has been telling me for years I need “relax” more, but I guess in my mind I am thinking: “Stress? Me?”.

I walked out the door consciously thinking: “I am grateful for this peaceful, beautiful morning and my dog, who will walk with me happily ANY TIME I WANT and be grateful for all the smells he experiences.” Really, the dog gets so excited, and no matter how often we walk, he still stops at every tree along the way, sniffing his little heart out. I am aware of the “doggy paper”…but watching him made me realize that there is always something new, no matter how often you tread the same path. You just have to be open to it.

I also started wearing my iPod on my walks, either listening to music (drums, Native Indian flutes, folk, classic….I try not to listen to music that distracts me, like the kind I listen to when I clean :)…), affirmations by Louise Hay, lessons from Abraham, or meditations from the fabulous Leonie of the GoddessGuideBook (come with the e-courses). My walks become much longer, because I become engrossed in the sound and senses of the morning.

On the way back, I walked under a tree that I have walked by thousand times or more, and saw this:

Really, I have never seen these blooms. They are just beautiful. Assuming that the tree, and the 2 next to it, are not blooming for the very first time in their long life, it made me wonder how I could have missed them all these years?

Becoming more aware, more grateful for what I have right now, and realizing that looking at things in a different way can be the solution is just invigorating.

Take a moment today, do something you always do, but first make the conscious decision to open your eyes & senses.

Much love,
Heike

The perfect follow-up to a long walk :).

Where did THAT come from? New discoveries on the “same ol’ path”.

Sometimes, it takes a new mindset to see what is really in front of you.

I have been making many changes lately. Some are physical, but most of them are internal….they are all between me & my brain.

This morning, I had the most amazing experience. I live close to a large park, and have been walking this park for about 14 years. This morning I woke up early, so I decided to walk my dog in the rising sun :). It’s quite beautiful early in the morning, and cool enough for both of us.

I have been grappling with health issues for the last few years. Recently, I visited a new doctor, and he suggested I analyze my “stress”. Interesting. My mom has been telling me for years I need “relax” more, but I guess in my mind I am thinking: “Stress? Me?”.

I walked out the door consciously thinking: “I am grateful for this peaceful, beautiful morning and my dog, who will walk with me happily ANY TIME I WANT and be grateful for all the smells he experiences.” Really, the dog gets so excited, and no matter how often we walk, he still stops at every tree along the way, sniffing his little heart out. I am aware of the “doggy paper”…but watching him made me realize that there is always something new, no matter how often you tread the same path. You just have to be open to it.

I also started wearing my iPod on my walks, either listening to music (drums, Native Indian flutes, folk, classic….I try not to listen to music that distracts me, like the kind I listen to when I clean :)…), affirmations by Louise Hay, lessons from Abraham, or meditations from the fabulous Leonie of the GoddessGuideBook (come with the e-courses). My walks become much longer, because I become engrossed in the sound and senses of the morning.

On the way back, I walked under a tree that I have walked by thousand times or more, and saw this:

Really, I have never seen these blooms. They are just beautiful. Assuming that the tree, and the 2 next to it, are not blooming for the very first time in their long life, it made me wonder how I could have missed them all these years?

Becoming more aware, more grateful for what I have right now, and realizing that looking at things in a different way can be the solution is just invigorating.

Take a moment today, do something you always do, but first make the conscious decision to open your eyes & senses.

Much love,
Heike

The perfect follow-up to a long walk :).

Mr. Sandman, send me a dream…….

I have not slept for more than 3 hours at a time for the last 3-4 years. I can’t remember EXACTLY when my sleep eluded me, but I do I slept right after my son was born…he is 10.

Over the years, the “sleepless” nights that I dealt with so well as a young women (I could party all night and be at work the next morning looking like I slept at the spa) have eaten away at my health, and my Spirit. I would like think that part of my famous bitchiness comes from a lack of sleep, it is not all in the genes. Being a night owl did not bother me much in the last years, since I love the peace of the night, the coolness, and that my European friends are around to chat with :). I never even considered the health risks of my night prowl…..

Only about three years ago, when what I call the “DNA”, or “Dead Nerve Attack”, did I begin to realize how my body hat crumbled right under me. No muscle tone, lots of pain, dead nerve reviving with excruciating pain, weight gain….and no sleep. Talk about bitchy. I was desperate.

I began with a trek to the doctors. I do not like going to the doctor. Not because I don’t trust them, but because they cannot help me. I don’t know if I am alien, but for some reason all doctor visits end up being a co-pay fail. I get medicine that I can only take for 3-5 days before my body spits it out right after it punishes me with near death experience pain & anguish. I go right back to square one.

I have tried:
acupuncture
valerian, melatonin, seratonin, and a wide variety of “sleepy teas” that put everyone else into a coma but me……
yoga
meditation
nerve testing & Neurontin (nerve pain medicine, originally used for epilepsy. Go figure. )
Ibuprofen horse pills
exercise
no exercise
juicing
no wheat & no dairy (this is my last experiment).

Still, no sleep. I actually wake up with pain in my feet, and the only way to get rid of it is to walk. So I wander around the house, and if it is lightish outside, I go walk my dog. Thank Goddess I have that big, burly dog! He loves it. My neighbors probably think I am like the mischugge lady down the street that just walks, and walks, and walks…….

I saw a new doctor a few days ago, a little Chinese man that I think I like. He totally got my “I can’t take medicine, it makes me sick”. He thinks I should eat wheat & dairy again (HALLEJULAH!!!) for at least 2 months so he can fully test my blood. I think I should listen to that part. Interesting enough, he says my symptoms could also be stress. Stress? Me? When he asked what “I did” for a living, and I told him I stay at home, work at home, & homeschool, he just nodded his head. On the right home, I contemplated how to get rid of my stress: house, bills, husband, kids, dog…only the chickens are Zen. All the things I love stress me at the same time. My lost concentration & focus….I miss them.

So I am happily eating bread & slurping kefir as I type. Tonight, I am going to start the “Devine Dreaming” meditation from Goddess Circle…. It’s going on my iPod and to bed with me. I will report back, and maybe all the testing, prodding, deprivation, of the last few years were nothing but a stepping stone to the real issue…and the solution.

Nighty, night.
Much love,

Heike

Mr. Sandman, send me a dream…….

I have not slept for more than 3 hours at a time for the last 3-4 years. I can’t remember EXACTLY when my sleep eluded me, but I do I slept right after my son was born…he is 10.

Over the years, the “sleepless” nights that I dealt with so well as a young women (I could party all night and be at work the next morning looking like I slept at the spa) have eaten away at my health, and my Spirit. I would like think that part of my famous bitchiness comes from a lack of sleep, it is not all in the genes. Being a night owl did not bother me much in the last years, since I love the peace of the night, the coolness, and that my European friends are around to chat with :). I never even considered the health risks of my night prowl…..

Only about three years ago, when what I call the “DNA”, or “Dead Nerve Attack”, did I begin to realize how my body hat crumbled right under me. No muscle tone, lots of pain, dead nerve reviving with excruciating pain, weight gain….and no sleep. Talk about bitchy. I was desperate.

I began with a trek to the doctors. I do not like going to the doctor. Not because I don’t trust them, but because they cannot help me. I don’t know if I am alien, but for some reason all doctor visits end up being a co-pay fail. I get medicine that I can only take for 3-5 days before my body spits it out right after it punishes me with near death experience pain & anguish. I go right back to square one.

I have tried:
acupuncture
valerian, melatonin, seratonin, and a wide variety of “sleepy teas” that put everyone else into a coma but me……
yoga
meditation
nerve testing & Neurontin (nerve pain medicine, originally used for epilepsy. Go figure. )
Ibuprofen horse pills
exercise
no exercise
juicing
no wheat & no dairy (this is my last experiment).

Still, no sleep. I actually wake up with pain in my feet, and the only way to get rid of it is to walk. So I wander around the house, and if it is lightish outside, I go walk my dog. Thank Goddess I have that big, burly dog! He loves it. My neighbors probably think I am like the mischugge lady down the street that just walks, and walks, and walks…….

I saw a new doctor a few days ago, a little Chinese man that I think I like. He totally got my “I can’t take medicine, it makes me sick”. He thinks I should eat wheat & dairy again (HALLEJULAH!!!) for at least 2 months so he can fully test my blood. I think I should listen to that part. Interesting enough, he says my symptoms could also be stress. Stress? Me? When he asked what “I did” for a living, and I told him I stay at home, work at home, & homeschool, he just nodded his head. On the right home, I contemplated how to get rid of my stress: house, bills, husband, kids, dog…only the chickens are Zen. All the things I love stress me at the same time. My lost concentration & focus….I miss them.

So I am happily eating bread & slurping kefir as I type. Tonight, I am going to start the “Devine Dreaming” meditation from Goddess Circle…. It’s going on my iPod and to bed with me. I will report back, and maybe all the testing, prodding, deprivation, of the last few years were nothing but a stepping stone to the real issue…and the solution.

Nighty, night.
Much love,

Heike