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Monthly Archives: May 2014

You are snarky, over-authoritative, and too influential.

“You are snarky, over-authorative, and too influential.”

As a woman, would you take this as a compliment, or a reprimand?

How about as a 16 year old girl?

How about if you are that 16 year old’s mama?

🙂

My daughter, who many of you know about through my blog since she was born, or recently, as she represented both on Huffington Post, the Today Show, etc., was given a “behavior notice” recently.  I was a bit stumped. When she told me why, I was proud. Take away the snarkiness.  Teenager eye-rolling needs to stay out of the picture, and like I told her, learning to keep your poker face no matter what your inner emotions are right then is a talent that we learn as we age.

I have literally spent the last 16 years raising this girl to be confident, have an opinion, be able to speak, be aware, and become a young woman who is authentic. That takes some energy in today’s society here in the U.S. There are campaigns and groups out there that are trying to do what I did at home. I have surrounded her with strong women who love her and celebrate her, both in the family and my circle of friends.  Hell yes she is influential! I would rather her influence other young girls than the media. Does influential make her bossy? Maybe? If she were a boy, would she get a behavior notice too?

Ah….and the AUTHORITATIVE.  Do you have to be authoritative to be a leader and make a change? Yes.

au·thor·i·ta·tive

adjective ə-ˈthär-ə-ˌtā-tiv, ȯ-, -ˈthȯr-


: having or showing impressive knowledge about a subject

: having the confident quality of someone who is respected or obeyed by other people

That kind of sums up my daughter.  She speaks about it in front of CEO’s, community leaders, donors, television, schoolchildren, etc, about the things she loves and is passionate about.  Because she lives it and has “impressive knowledge about the subject”.
Shouldn’t all our girls be authoritative? Isn’t that what we are striving for?

Instead, I am finding that adults are often intimidated by confident youth. Both girls & boys. More than once, I suspect that is because of personal issues, maybe issues from that adult’s youth? I wonder if they had been raised in a more confident manner, being praised for their own individuality instead of trying to conform to the norm, would they embrace the confidence of today’s youth?

I believe that young girls, and boys, definitely need good role models in our society. At this point, they are being raised by Instagram, Twitter, and Facebook.  Their role models are celebrities, that don’t always make the greatest choices, or their “popular” peers. Should we not celebrate youth that come from all walks of life and settings, and have accomplished great things in their young lives? Who are well spoken, well mannered, and shown responsibility and drive?

There is certainly more to this story, but from what I see, I have raised my child to have an opinion, and to respect others. 

I feel very strongly about this. I am proud of my daughter, and by the way, everyone in our “family” who has heard about this is applauding her (minus the snarkiness, again). This leads right up to the subject of women being called “bitchy” when they are really confident, assertive, the boss? There is of course a fine line between being a leader and a steamroller, but that is a different subject.

What are your thoughts?

You are snarky, over-authoritative, and too influential.

“You are snarky, over-authorative, and too influential.”

As a woman, would you take this as a compliment, or a reprimand?

How about as a 16 year old girl?

How about if you are that 16 year old’s mama?

🙂

My daughter, who many of you know about through my blog since she was born, or recently, as she represented both on Huffington Post, the Today Show, etc., was given a “behavior notice” recently.  I was a bit stumped. When she told me why, I was proud. Take away the snarkiness.  Teenager eye-rolling needs to stay out of the picture, and like I told her, learning to keep your poker face no matter what your inner emotions are right then is a talent that we learn as we age.

I have literally spent the last 16 years raising this girl to be confident, have an opinion, be able to speak, be aware, and become a young woman who is authentic. That takes some energy in today’s society here in the U.S. There are campaigns and groups out there that are trying to do what I did at home. I have surrounded her with strong women who love her and celebrate her, both in the family and my circle of friends.  Hell yes she is influential! I would rather her influence other young girls than the media. Does influential make her bossy? Maybe? If she were a boy, would she get a behavior notice too?

Ah….and the AUTHORITATIVE.  Do you have to be authoritative to be a leader and make a change? Yes.

au·thor·i·ta·tive

adjective ə-ˈthär-ə-ˌtā-tiv, -, –ˈthr-

: having or showing impressive knowledge about a subject

: having the confident quality of someone who is respected or obeyed by other people

That kind of sums up my daughter.  She speaks about it in front of CEO’s, community leaders, donors, television, schoolchildren, etc, about the things she loves and is passionate about.  Because she lives it and has “impressive knowledge about the subject”.
Shouldn’t all our girls be authoritative? Isn’t that what we are striving for?

Instead, I am finding that adults are often intimidated by confident youth. Both girls & boys. More than once, I suspect that is because of personal issues, maybe issues from that adult’s youth? I wonder if they had been raised in a more confident manner, being praised for their own individuality instead of trying to conform to the norm, would they embrace the confidence of today’s youth?

I believe that young girls, and boys, definitely need good role models in our society. At this point, they are being raised by Instagram, Twitter, and Facebook.  Their role models are celebrities, that don’t always make the greatest choices, or their “popular” peers. Should we not celebrate youth that come from all walks of life and settings, and have accomplished great things in their young lives? Who are well spoken, well mannered, and shown responsibility and drive?

There is certainly more to this story, but from what I see, I have raised my child to have an opinion, and to respect others. 

I feel very strongly about this. I am proud of my daughter, and by the way, everyone in our “family” who has heard about this is applauding her (minus the snarkiness, again). This leads right up to the subject of women being called “bitchy” when they are really confident, assertive, the boss? There is of course a fine line between being a leader and a steamroller, but that is a different subject.

What are your thoughts?

The end of a Challenge, and the Goddesses it created

I just posted the last of the 30 28 Day Goddess Challenge Goddesses :).

It was interesting. First of all, I don’t know what the hell I was thinking to do this in May. May is the craziest month of my life. Maybe that was part of the challenge?

My thought was to make a Goddess a day. Well, I ended up with 19. It is just not physically possible to make a Goddess a day, they are all hand made from scratch, paint has to dry, heads need to butt. Quite frankly, making Goddesses sometimes means that a pink Goddess ends up being silver with a wolf on it. They have a mind of their own. Then we had to wait for full moon :).

The idea was to see what happens when there is “pressure to perform”. In performing, I mean to make myself sit with the goddess until something happens. This was a challenge for me. I am impatient, my life is crazy, I get distracted. This meant I had to sit, and tell my kids, dog, husband, phone, computer, and mother that I was “busy” until I was done painting. It meant I had to go outside and take pictures BEFORE I chauffeured anyone or did laundry.  It meant putting my Goddesses first, my art, and the rest of my life second.

🙂

It also gave me time to remember why I started this in the first place. Why I make bold, strong Goddesses for women to wear. Because they are magic, and the stories that come back to me are uplifting, heart-breaking, and fantastic at the same time. Wearing a Goddess is a message to the world, and I am the one who brings the Goddesses to the women. It is an honor. 

The really neat thing is the I LOVE each  one of the challenge Goddesses! They are quite different. One has to stay with me, she is my “chosen one” :). It happens. We bonded.

I can’t wait to see where they go.
Much love,
Heike

The end of a Challenge, and the Goddesses it created

I just posted the last of the 30 28 Day Goddess Challenge Goddesses :).

It was interesting. First of all, I don’t know what the hell I was thinking to do this in May. May is the craziest month of my life. Maybe that was part of the challenge?

My thought was to make a Goddess a day. Well, I ended up with 19. It is just not physically possible to make a Goddess a day, they are all hand made from scratch, paint has to dry, heads need to butt. Quite frankly, making Goddesses sometimes means that a pink Goddess ends up being silver with a wolf on it. They have a mind of their own. Then we had to wait for full moon :).

The idea was to see what happens when there is “pressure to perform”. In performing, I mean to make myself sit with the goddess until something happens. This was a challenge for me. I am impatient, my life is crazy, I get distracted. This meant I had to sit, and tell my kids, dog, husband, phone, computer, and mother that I was “busy” until I was done painting. It meant I had to go outside and take pictures BEFORE I chauffeured anyone or did laundry.  It meant putting my Goddesses first, my art, and the rest of my life second.

🙂

It also gave me time to remember why I started this in the first place. Why I make bold, strong Goddesses for women to wear. Because they are magic, and the stories that come back to me are uplifting, heart-breaking, and fantastic at the same time. Wearing a Goddess is a message to the world, and I am the one who brings the Goddesses to the women. It is an honor. 

The really neat thing is the I LOVE each  one of the challenge Goddesses! They are quite different. One has to stay with me, she is my “chosen one” :). It happens. We bonded.

I can’t wait to see where they go.
Much love,
Heike

Week #2 of a 30 Day Challenge. What was I thinking?

So, I am in the second week of a 30 Day Goddess Challenge. If you want to read the inspiration behind it, and how I am celebrating the Finale, you can do so here.

A Goddess is born

What I have discovered so far:
1. Artist block translates to artist confusion when you put yourself under a time limit.
2. Rome was not built in a day, and making a Goddess in one day is virtually impossible.
3. I love making Goddesses.
4. I have no control over what comes out in the end :).
5. Thankfully, I have children with good eyes & steady hands that like to sit and chat while they bead for me :).

It is an interesting process. Today, I am officially behind, as I had a last minute redo as paint was

First stage

drying. I also don’t have the “right” beads in my stash of a trillion beads. The Goddesses do not comply to my time constraint, or my existing inventory. I literally had to go buy paint & beads the other day at 8:55pm so that I could continue. Plus, we are waiting for Full Moon.

🙂

I am finding myself veering away from my “usual”. I am exploring new avenues, and am though I am uncertain at times, the end product is fabulous. Trust. Also, I am finding that each finished Goddess has a mission. I almost put the mission in the description, but then I will steer her into a “box”, and maybe a away from the destined woman who needs her for a different purpose.

Who knew?

You can find the 30 Day Challenge Goddesses on my Etsy store, just enter “30daychallenge” in the search box when you are there.

Week #2 of a 30 Day Challenge. What was I thinking?

So, I am in the second week of a 30 Day Goddess Challenge. If you want to read the inspiration behind it, and how I am celebrating the Finale, you can do so here.

A Goddess is born

What I have discovered so far:
1. Artist block translates to artist confusion when you put yourself under a time limit.
2. Rome was not built in a day, and making a Goddess in one day is virtually impossible.
3. I love making Goddesses.
4. I have no control over what comes out in the end :).
5. Thankfully, I have children with good eyes & steady hands that like to sit and chat while they bead for me :).

It is an interesting process. Today, I am officially behind, as I had a last minute redo as paint was

First stage

drying. I also don’t have the “right” beads in my stash of a trillion beads. The Goddesses do not comply to my time constraint, or my existing inventory. I literally had to go buy paint & beads the other day at 8:55pm so that I could continue. Plus, we are waiting for Full Moon.

🙂

I am finding myself veering away from my “usual”. I am exploring new avenues, and am though I am uncertain at times, the end product is fabulous. Trust. Also, I am finding that each finished Goddess has a mission. I almost put the mission in the description, but then I will steer her into a “box”, and maybe a away from the destined woman who needs her for a different purpose.

Who knew?

You can find the 30 Day Challenge Goddesses on my Etsy store, just enter “30daychallenge” in the search box when you are there.