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Even good Shit can get overwhelming

It is 3am, and I am contemplating the purpose of life.

I was asleep, but was awakened by my frantic dog, barking at the door and intermittently coming to get me to tell me something is wrong. A houseparty up the the street from me must have exploded, there are hundreds of loud, slightly stupid sounding kids on my street. God, I hope my kids never sound or act like that. I can hear the police approaching, the crowd outside is getting antsy.

Anyways, I digress. 25 minutes later the street was back to its’ normal, quiet, sleepy suburbian boring self. My dog is now sleeping soundly under my bed, and I am fully awake.

After several rounds of guided meditations, a sleepy tea, an audiobook that did not grab me, some exercise….I decided to go the library and play book roulette. “A Love Story” popped up, I put it on my iPad, and was pleasantly surprised. An collection of short stories!

The first story is about Mavis, who locks herself in a bathroom for a week to think.

I have not finished the story, but am in love with Mavis. And I am jealous that I only have one bathroom. The thought of locking myself into a bathroom for a week, with food that I love (not nourishing, that I love), books, magazines, something to write, and maybe my wi-fi, is fantastic. I would also buy myself a one cup coffee machine for this adventure.

Lately, I have been restless and sleepless, and all around annoyed. I am not sure what is triggering this insolence, but I can feel little tentacles of bitchiness coming out. In one way, it is helping, as I am ruthlessly purging things that don’t make me happy, and that is a big feat right now. On the other hand, I took a pause in reading with Mavis to ask myself “What is wrong?”.

7733821_origI have a great family. I am not kidding, my husband, though truly nerve wracking, is a good and hardworking man. And obviously gifted with a inhumane amount of patience, as we will be married 20 years next week. I am not easy. My kids are both fantastic, spoiled, but fantastic. I have a house in suburbia, lots of stuff in it to keep my creative spirit busy, a dog, chickens, a back yard, wi-fi…..I don’t have a 9-5, so my crazy sleep/ no sleep schedule is doable. I really don’t know how I would function in the real world, I would have to take drugs.

Back to Mavis living in her bathroom. I am drawn to her because we are both yearning for the simple life. I am almost feel as if my life, and the stuff in it, are taking my breathe away. I am tempted to pimp out my van and go live in it. But then where would everyone else sleep?? How would the kids get to school and function? Who would cook heavy, meat based dinners for my hardworking husband, and where would all this damn laundry go??

Sitting here in the quiet, yet chaotic dining room sipping my warm milk with turmeric, I think I have hit the nail on the head.

Too much shit. Even good shit can get overwhelming.

Too many little responsibilities and needs of others suck away energy from the true purpose of what I am here for. Don’t get me wrong, being the mother of these gorgeous humans, and the wife/friend to my husband, the daughter to my mama, and the friend to my few, but true friends is fulfilling. Yet, I also want to find the energy to work with young women, find my witchy circle of women for ritual and growth, go camping by myself in the redwoods, publish my ebook, make KitchenWitches for fun and give them away (I had this dream that I traveled around and delivered custom KitchenWitches to women in different situations, and just made their day. I was like Ellen, only with Witches. It was fabulous, and now is on my “to do” list), things that make my spirit grow and bring in money to support it all comfortably. On that note, I also want another shepherd puppy.

It is time make things clear and simple again, and I need to do it before I am 79 and locked in a bathroom.

How are you finding your life’s purpose, Beautiful??

Ok, then, just kiss my butt.

Not you, this darn computer!
The original post had a different title, but since it crashed (FireFox that is) 3 times and lost all the photos, AND I had to upload all AGAIN…I am done, you hear? What is a visual post without photos???

So this is the last time. It better work. I am saving it right after this sentence, so if the post seems unfinished later, it is.

Ok, now on with my real post:

Wow…it has been a week since I wrote.

Honestly, my mind is so cluttered and chaotic right now, I do not make much sense to anyone but me.

So, I will write this post in pictures, and captions, for the “visualist” in all of you :). Much love, Heike

My daughter had the wonderful idea to look for a pair of MY (25+ year old) shoes to wear with HER (11 year old) outfit. I know I have cool shoes, but where did those big feet come from?? How can it be that I am already sharing shoes???

Ahhh..the last minute creative prep. New Goddesses, Goddess Rocks (they rock!), Beer Cap Pies, and some beans, freshly harvested from the garden. How does all this come together? I don’t know, but this IS my life.

Goddess on the Rocks! Digging into my piles of rocks, I MAY be a bit of a rock hoarder…making beautiful use of them.

At the festival, with 2 hours of sleep, getting up early to take the dog to doggy day care. My cart broke, and we had to lug all this stuff in 100 degree heat. I did not have coffee yet. “SMMIIIIIIILLLLLLE” she says. Ugh. In the end, the festival was a bust. Never again, my Goddesses say..

House Zen-Show me the Money, or keep me from going INSANE!

This is Part 2 of my big Feng Shui makeover. If you want to see how it all started, check out Part 1, and Part 1 Update .

I know I said that I would do this in weekly increments. Don’t hold me to my word, as that is not happening. My life is too chaotic, that is why I am Feng Shui’ing and Space Clearing…see? 🙂 If you are attempting this yourself, you can either go room by room in order starting at your front door, or you can do it like me. Priority. Whatever is screwed up the most in my life gets attention first. I would love to show my very tidy Health & Family area, unfortunately my children were creatively making a video with my camera and somehow changed the settings. Now, if I were more organized, I would know where to find my instruction book…..I did find some treasures out there!! A beautiful blue glass lantern, a beautiful blue glass water bottle from Italy that expired in 2003, several art supplies times two, etc…I also found some B&W poster of Rasta kids, I am passing these on, email me quick if you want them!

As were are going by urgency, I am tackling “PROSPERITY” next, which happens to be in my purple (yeah…good prosperity color!) kitchen. I will show you pictures, and here my kitchen is in a pretty good state. Normally that little table is aching under STUFF, and so are the counters, as we do not have dishwasher (an electric one that is, this is why I have children :)….).

My goal is to clear off that table, as I like to sit here and have coffee, or use the table for baking, PlayDoh making, etc. As you can see, we don’t have alot of cabintet space. We have 3 cabinets and a very interesting “junky” drawer to clear out. Once it is all done, we were going to paint, but I am not ready to let go of my purple, so I will do some enhancements that I will post.

Simultaneously, I am going to clear my bedroom, my KNOWLEDGE & SELF HELP area (snort!! No wonder I am so damn air-headed!) as I go through the heaps of stuff to find not only my camera book, but also my beading tools. I cannot bead any Goddesses right now as my pliers and tools have VANISHED!! I think it is a sign to get my butt in gear, as my bedroom is supposed to be my ZEN place. This used to be my office. When we made the switch, I swore I would organize and declutter the big built in shelf that you don’t see, as that warrants a post all of its own as I tackle it. It will take me a weekend….

This is supposed to be my “altar” area, with my Goddesses, statues, oils, candles, etc. Instead, it is a catchall for pens, glasses, crap, crap, crap :(. Plus, this dresser has to go, all the drawers are messed up. I am on the prowl for a new dresser to paint…..and make my Goddesses happy again. Don’t want to have them be pissed at me…

Clutter, clutter, everywhere……

This is sad. I left this desk in the room so I can leave my Goddeses and beads out and work on them here. As always, any clear space is taken over by PAPER …ugh.

Send me a jingle if you are joining me. We could be Clutter Busters together :)…Or send each other our grossest finds? If you are feeling inspired, check out my favorite books.
Much love,
Heike Widgetssne

P.P.S. I love y’all with smooches! I want to send you my book and make you laugh. I would love for you to BUY one, but now you can WIN your very own copy! Just sign up for FeedBlitz updates in the little index to your right. You will automatically entered every month (yeah, I know.), drawings will be held on the 30th or 31st.

Chaos Recipe #1

My life is always in a jumble, and some days seem to “peak”. On these days, I use my Chaos Recipes to make sure we are at least well nourished ;). I don’t do chemical foods, and I don’t have a microwave…so they are fast and hands on. If you have a Chaos Recipe to share, PLEASE DO!

Coconut Curry Chicken

Enough Chicken breast to feed your family 🙂
1/2 of large onion (can be left out)
1 can of coconut milk (this is enough for 1-1.5lbs of chicken. Do 2 if you have more chicken or like it saucy)
1 can of chunky pineapple

Rice for the side

Cook Rice.
In a large iron skillet, heat 2 tbls of olive oil. Add your onions and glaze slightly, then add cubed chicken breast. Saute’ until the chicken is done, adding curry in the last minutes of cooking (we LOVE curry, so we add alot. Measure out what you like). When chicken is done, add coconut milk and heat. Let simmer a few minutes. Drain pineapple and add. Once the pineapple is hot, it is ready to serve!

Serve over rice and with a green salad (or spinach) with a simple viniagrette.

Takes about 20 minutes.