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childhood

A letter to my 13 year old self

In 2007, I was 38, I wrote a letter to my 13 year old self as part of a blog Meme.

I loved reading this again, and will now add my 40’s.

I hope this inspires you to write to your budding teenage self!

(clearing throat, wiping eyes)

Dear Heike,

Yipee! You are 13!! Finally, you hit your teens. Isn’t this the day you have been waiting for? If you could only be like all the other thirteen year olds…but you can’t. It is ok, soon, you will not have to change so much to fit in. Actually, you will be honored because you are so different.

The rest of your teens are filled with adventure, a few authentic friends, and many people who just want to take advantage of you. Heed them! And do not let them into your house. You will know who your true friends are, and they will be with you for a long time. Be nice to your mama, she is doing the best she can. If I could keep you off that motorcycle, I would. Too many close calls :), but you are a bit of a wild child with a very sensible brain.

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Fuzzy blast from my 20’s past

Your 20’s start out with a bang, and an accident that will change your life. You will think it is the end of the world, but it is not. You will survive the pain, the uncertainty, and all the follow up operations. And you will carry all the scars with pride, because you have conquered. When you are MUCH older, you will discover Frida Kahlo, the courageous and ingenious artist who had a brace just like you. I promise, you will overcome. A man you can’t stand to be around becomes your soulmate, and you will marry him. When you are 28, you will have a baby they say you will never have. She is a miracle.

Your 30’s are pretty awesome. You are a mama now, and you have learned from many of your past mistakes. Everything you endured growing up, will now make you strong and opinionated. You will become a Goddess, and finally find your clan. You will also find your path, and all your past and present dreams will make more sense. They are your calling. You will have another baby, and they are both fabulous. You are an artist, and your hands make you happy.

Your 40’s make you feel like you are 25 again. Not in the body, but the BRAIN! Your Spirit is vibrant, and feisty! You begin to get more interested in politics, because you want to make your home a better place to live. You become a very vocal pain in the butt, and people know your name, even if it is a bit difficult for people to say! Your children are now teens, and they are pretty opinionated, fantastic humans. They are a lot like you are now: primal, smart, feisty, wild, and they drive you crazy. Your daughter is the confident young Goddess woman you wanted her to become, she has enough confidence for a whole country.  You are becoming a mentor for a younger generation, as you walk between the lines of society. You are the keeper of the Goddess, and your work is with women & girls, making them warriors. You are still working with your hands, your dreams, and your intuition.

As you get older, your life just keeps getting better. Just like a good wine ;).

Love,
Heike

Do you still check under the bed?

e18406e6a30811e180c9123138016265_7When I was a child, one of my biggest fears was that something was hiding under my bed. I am still not clear what that “something” was, but I became creative in dealing with it.

Running, and taking a flying leap into my bed from the doorway.

Arranging ALL my stuffed animals around me when I slept to protect me.

Cramming all my belongings under the bed (now that I think about it, maybe that is what my son & daughter both are doing this, not just teenager sloppiness??).

If I was feeling very brave, I would lift up the blankets and peek under the bed, but only from the safety of the top, ringed by my animals.

I also thought things lived in closets, but since those could be closed, they were not as threatening to me. Even today, I will close (and lock, if possible) every closet before I go to the bed :).

Yesterday, we were doing our annual 4H petting zoo. I love watching the small children come and pet the chickens, the awe of touching their silky soft feathers and feeling their warmth. Of course, the baby goats are always a hit too.

Children have no fear, their innate curiousity trumps all.  It is the adults that jump when our chickens even just move to adjust their feet as they are being pet by lots of little hands. The adults that say “BE CAREFUL, the chicken can bite!” Or that urge their children from animal to animal, insisting they touch the animal, instead of letting the child explore on their own terms. It saddens me to see how fast, and unknowingly, adults project their fear of animals onto their children.

That brings me back to my biggest childhood fear: who is sharing my under bed space?

How in the world did that come around? Today, my bed is very high, with nothing under it but my dog, and on occasion my trampoline. Either way,  I can see under it from the door :).

This will be the topic of my next Skype coffee talk with my Mama. Stay tuned!

 

Fly little baby, FLY!!! And make your Mama cry!

Today I saw my “baby” off for a 3 month trip to Europe.

I just about died. I put my treasure, my little cohort, on a plane to go across the planet by herself. We have spent the last (almost) 18 years together almost every day. I homeschooled!!

Now I am watching her plane, 33K feet in the air, and am excited about all the things she will get to see! She will get to taste my favorite foods, see all the places I would tell her about, throw a coin in the Trevi Fountain………

Yet, with all this excitement, I am not sure I am ready to let my baby venture away yet. The realization that she will turn 18 in a few weeks is unreal. Time has passed so quickly!

What I do know is that I have raised an excellent human! She is confident, smart, open-minded and good hearted. She is hilarious, but can be a serious support if needed.

I can’t wait to see her millions of Instagram pictures & blog posts! You can follow her travel adventures  on Instagram under “abentpieceofwire”.

P.S. Born and raised in the USA. She made sure she would be home for Thanksgiving :).

Gross, yet fantastic food of my youth. How did I survive?

Tonight, I ate a bologna ( baloney!!!)  sandwich.

Right now, I am regretting it immensely, as my stomach is crying out “What the HELL?????”

I can’t remember the last time I had a bologna sandwich on soft, crappy white bread (that you can roll into a ball) with mustard & mayonnaise. It was so good for a moment :). Bologna is one of those foods I lived on as a kid. I had phases where I only ate certain things. For a long while my bologna with mustard & mayo, then Alphabet Soup.

Strangely, coming from a mixed German/American household, these foods were like treasures to me as a child. So were Lucky Charms. My German family would not touch those foods with a 10ft pole, LOL. I ate them, and survived. I even grew up to be a healthy, happy, organic, crunchy, real food eating adult.

My husband, who I swear just does this to rile me up, will go shopping and buy $1 white bread, bologna, Fruit Loops (ew…never ate those), those strange little pie things you can buy at a gas station, $1 cookies, etc. His stomach will survive an acapolypse. He is one of those lucky humans that is trim, even though he violates all laws of food. He did gain 30 lbs this year after he quit smoking (yeah for him!!!), but he is still quite average and only snickers when I watch him eat to see if he will self-destruct.

My kids will not touch bologna :)….they will eat tongue sausage, blood wurst, and other adventurous meats, but not Oscar Meyer mystery meat.  They do, however, love to indulge in blue/red/multi-colored Slurpies from 7Eleven, and other questionable junk food that I raise my eyebrows to.

I have learned, over time, that our diet is helathy and “real” enough that our bodies will excuse an insanity moment every once in a while.  Quite frankly, our bodies also make us suffer a little (I won’t go into details, but shouts of “blue POOP!!” have rung out in this house…) so that we don’t indulge too often.

Now I am craving a bowl of Lucky Charms.