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happiness

Deviating from the Original Plan

I am closer to 50 than ever, and I feel like I am trying to climb the mountain of destiny. You know, that feeling that there is something I should be doing right now that will let the big breakthrough emerge.

I don’t know if it is an inflated ego, or if the Universe really has the Big Bang in store for me.

I can still remember this moment like it happened yesterday: I woke up in the emergency room after my accident. I was not operated on yet, but was in the holding loop.  I had the craziest dream where I was talking to my Opa (who passed over many years before) about how I had majorly screwed up with this one, and that I was in big trouble. He did not answer me, just patted my hand. When I woke up to the stark light of the emergency room, I was crying. The nurse,  a short and feisty Romanian nurse that spoke little German (they had just hired her, one of the many foreign nurses that were filling the gap), came and told me to try to calm down, that I was going into shock. I became slightly hsyterical, tellling her that I could not feel my legs. No one had told me at this time how serious my injuries were, I had broken my back. Again, I knew something was very wrong.

 

This fantastic nurse creature, whose name I do not know, but whose face is in front of me as I type today, said in her halting German/English “All I can tell you is that you had better get your shit together and find your strentgh. You can get through this, I can see that. Right now, you can’t even walk yourself to the edge of a cliff.”

There you go.

I have had some major setbacks in the last year or so, and felt my path getting mucky. Health, independence, future, money….all these things seemed to get challenging at the same time. One day, I stormed out of the house, walked to the park, and sat under a tree. Quietly. Turned of my phone. I sat there and watched people, stared at the creek, leaned against the tree.

Heike, get your shit together.

I realized again that I am the creator of my own destiny. I did not get through the challenges I did to sit back now and wither. I remembered what Dr. Wayne Dyer said once: “Whenever major setbacks happen, I see them as a learning opportunity.” I also remembered how I layed in a hospital bed for 8 months patiently and not so patiently, waiting for someone to give the thumbs up to let me get up. I remembered learning to walk again, and all the wonderful things that happened since then. I remembered how grateful I am to have received the chance to live my life, even if it deviated from my original plan.

There lies the secret! “Even if it deviated from my original plan”.

You see, there are times in life when we have to step back and look at the whole picture from the outside in. If you are spiraling, it is time to stop the swirl and take a breather. Analyze all choices, and reflect on why you are making them. Are they good for you? Will they be good for you next week, next month?  ARE YOU HAPPY??? I meet so many people who are successful, who have lots of money, who have an impressive resume; but they are not HAPPY.

Happiness is primal. Make your happiness the #1 priority and go from there.

 

 

Damn, girl, just be happy!

I am closing a strange year :).  There were setbacks, challenges, and triumphs. As the year ends, I tend to struggle with “what should have happened this year”, as I do every year. Or, I should say I “struggled”, since right now, I have a completely different attitude.

For one, I really don’t give a rats ass about what I did not accomplish, as it was probably not meant to be. Honestly, while I was jotting down my completion list for 2012 (if you want to know more about that, or join in, go here) , the things I did not accomplish are all things I did not really want, but thought I had to want, if that makes sense? I am finding myself very un-guilt-ridden.

Did I get hypnotized? Too many beers? No :).

A few days ago, I got this in my inbox:

If you had one goal, and that was to feel good, you would never again need
to hear another word from anyone. You would live successfully and happily
and in a way of fulfilling your life’s purpose ever after.

— Abraham

When I read that, I had a revelation. YES!!! It is that simple.

Damn, girl, just be happy.

Since then, I am seriously walking around, thinking “Does that make you happy?” I take in, evaluate, execute. If the answer is not yes, well then, “NO! Go AWAY!”.

This quote makes so much sense to me, and the effect right now is a pretty happy Heike.

And this is for all you out there who ARE thinking about what they accomplished this year :). I love you, and am happy that the universe has a yang balance for my ying :). If you need some guidance, or just love super cool & creative workbooks, forums, and some sisters who “got your back” as you make your dreams reality, again check THIS out. I actually have a brain filled with new ideas, all fueled by my instinct of what makes me happy first, and what makes me money second.

It is a freeing way to continue :).
Much love,
Heike 

Frivolous little ME!!!

I never know when a little treasure will hit me over the head :). I was enthralled by these when I saw a women wearing them one day when I was out; and today they appeared in my inbox. NOW, if THAT is not a sign, I don’t know what is!

20% off Yoga Sandals. Was $30 Now only $24 at Gaiam.

:).

With that said, I have a broken back and really NEED these sandals. I can even get socks with single toes so that I don’t freeze my buttocks off when I am wearing my “cool new sandals that really good for my broken back and weird leg”.

There.

If you want to know more about my “broken back and weird leg”, just sign up for my book in the index, soon I will share and let you know why I am still here.

Purely for your entertainment, of course :).

What makes you HAPPY?

Today I woke up grumpy. Super grumpy. And as the LOA works, it got worse the moment I stood up and got out of bed.

So after a few hours of grumping at everyone around me that I normally love, I decided we all needed some fresh air, and so we took a walk in the rain. This normally cheers me up.

Today, it didn’t. So as we are walking, I asked myself: “Heike, what would make you really happy right now?”. I could not think of a thing. I thought about food, people, shopping, my kids, etc. Nothing.

Thankfully, this cloud wore off before anyone disowned me.

It made me decide to make a list, a list of things that make me happy. So next time I wake up in a funk, I can grab my emergency list before things get ugly.

My list is kind of funny, and I am not going share publicly. I dare you to sit down with your deepest self and think about what makes you happy. And don’t just write down the spiritually and socially acceptable stuff, be honest and keep the list private if need be. One of my items: xx. Make a super find at the thrift store for under $5. (Really, this thrills me immensly).

The little things in life………….