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Deviating from the Original Plan

I am closer to 50 than ever, and I feel like I am trying to climb the mountain of destiny. You know, that feeling that there is something I should be doing right now that will let the big breakthrough emerge.

I don’t know if it is an inflated ego, or if the Universe really has the Big Bang in store for me.

I can still remember this moment like it happened yesterday: I woke up in the emergency room after my accident. I was not operated on yet, but was in the holding loop.  I had the craziest dream where I was talking to my Opa (who passed over many years before) about how I had majorly screwed up with this one, and that I was in big trouble. He did not answer me, just patted my hand. When I woke up to the stark light of the emergency room, I was crying. The nurse,  a short and feisty Romanian nurse that spoke little German (they had just hired her, one of the many foreign nurses that were filling the gap), came and told me to try to calm down, that I was going into shock. I became slightly hsyterical, tellling her that I could not feel my legs. No one had told me at this time how serious my injuries were, I had broken my back. Again, I knew something was very wrong.


This fantastic nurse creature, whose name I do not know, but whose face is in front of me as I type today, said in her halting German/English “All I can tell you is that you had better get your shit together and find your strentgh. You can get through this, I can see that. Right now, you can’t even walk yourself to the edge of a cliff.”

There you go.

I have had some major setbacks in the last year or so, and felt my path getting mucky. Health, independence, future, money….all these things seemed to get challenging at the same time. One day, I stormed out of the house, walked to the park, and sat under a tree. Quietly. Turned of my phone. I sat there and watched people, stared at the creek, leaned against the tree.

Heike, get your shit together.

I realized again that I am the creator of my own destiny. I did not get through the challenges I did to sit back now and wither. I remembered what Dr. Wayne Dyer said once: “Whenever major setbacks happen, I see them as a learning opportunity.” I also remembered how I layed in a hospital bed for 8 months patiently and not so patiently, waiting for someone to give the thumbs up to let me get up. I remembered learning to walk again, and all the wonderful things that happened since then. I remembered how grateful I am to have received the chance to live my life, even if it deviated from my original plan.

There lies the secret! “Even if it deviated from my original plan”.

You see, there are times in life when we have to step back and look at the whole picture from the outside in. If you are spiraling, it is time to stop the swirl and take a breather. Analyze all choices, and reflect on why you are making them. Are they good for you? Will they be good for you next week, next month?  ARE YOU HAPPY??? I meet so many people who are successful, who have lots of money, who have an impressive resume; but they are not HAPPY.

Happiness is primal. Make your happiness the #1 priority and go from there.



What makes you HAPPY?

Today I woke up grumpy. Super grumpy. And as the LOA works, it got worse the moment I stood up and got out of bed.

So after a few hours of grumping at everyone around me that I normally love, I decided we all needed some fresh air, and so we took a walk in the rain. This normally cheers me up.

Today, it didn’t. So as we are walking, I asked myself: “Heike, what would make you really happy right now?”. I could not think of a thing. I thought about food, people, shopping, my kids, etc. Nothing.

Thankfully, this cloud wore off before anyone disowned me.

It made me decide to make a list, a list of things that make me happy. So next time I wake up in a funk, I can grab my emergency list before things get ugly.

My list is kind of funny, and I am not going share publicly. I dare you to sit down with your deepest self and think about what makes you happy. And don’t just write down the spiritually and socially acceptable stuff, be honest and keep the list private if need be. One of my items: xx. Make a super find at the thrift store for under $5. (Really, this thrills me immensly).

The little things in life………….


I think many of us have a “rebirth” during our lives. I already had one at age 21, when I had a near fatal car crash. I slipped by with a broken back, and it changed my life in many aspects. It is a long story, which I will share another day.

Today, I was watching a show about cops, and one of them had a face completely marred by scars. At first, I was taken aback by his looks, but after a while his personality shown through. Funny, by the time I found out he had been in a fiery car crash, his looks were unimportant. He was being honored as a survivor. I told my husband that I can relate to this man. After my accident, I was cut up like Frankensteins’ daughter. I was offered laser treatment to remove the scars a few years after the accident, but I declined. They are my medals of conquering. I wear them with pride, even though they are faint now. I remember flaunting them in a bikini when I finally was able to walk without a brace or cast after almost two years.

When things like this happen, you become grateful for life, in whichever form it is given to you.

I am going through my second rebirth as I type. I am discovering new ways, and making them part of my life. I am sure many of you saw “The Secret” on Oprah? I saw the movie before the show, but I must say hearing the panel speak, and seeing the aftershow, touched me more than the movie. Since then, I have branched out to learn from these visionaries, and others. Interestingly enough, the LOA has been part of my life always, but I have to learn to use it to my grateful advantage :)….I was ordering from the wrong menu in the last few years!!! 🙂

With that said, I will keep sharing with you. I have already had some amazing things happen. Old friends call, bills get zeroed out (yipee!), and inspirations to do great things and serve are rolling at me like a landslide.