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A letter to my 13 year old self

In 2007, I was 38, I wrote a letter to my 13 year old self as part of a blog Meme.

I loved reading this again, and will now add my 40’s.

I hope this inspires you to write to your budding teenage self!

(clearing throat, wiping eyes)

Dear Heike,

Yipee! You are 13!! Finally, you hit your teens. Isn’t this the day you have been waiting for? If you could only be like all the other thirteen year olds…but you can’t. It is ok, soon, you will not have to change so much to fit in. Actually, you will be honored because you are so different.

The rest of your teens are filled with adventure, a few authentic friends, and many people who just want to take advantage of you. Heed them! And do not let them into your house. You will know who your true friends are, and they will be with you for a long time. Be nice to your mama, she is doing the best she can. If I could keep you off that motorcycle, I would. Too many close calls :), but you are a bit of a wild child with a very sensible brain.

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Fuzzy blast from my 20’s past

Your 20’s start out with a bang, and an accident that will change your life. You will think it is the end of the world, but it is not. You will survive the pain, the uncertainty, and all the follow up operations. And you will carry all the scars with pride, because you have conquered. When you are MUCH older, you will discover Frida Kahlo, the courageous and ingenious artist who had a brace just like you. I promise, you will overcome. A man you can’t stand to be around becomes your soulmate, and you will marry him. When you are 28, you will have a baby they say you will never have. She is a miracle.

Your 30’s are pretty awesome. You are a mama now, and you have learned from many of your past mistakes. Everything you endured growing up, will now make you strong and opinionated. You will become a Goddess, and finally find your clan. You will also find your path, and all your past and present dreams will make more sense. They are your calling. You will have another baby, and they are both fabulous. You are an artist, and your hands make you happy.

Your 40’s make you feel like you are 25 again. Not in the body, but the BRAIN! Your Spirit is vibrant, and feisty! You begin to get more interested in politics, because you want to make your home a better place to live. You become a very vocal pain in the butt, and people know your name, even if it is a bit difficult for people to say! Your children are now teens, and they are pretty opinionated, fantastic humans. They are a lot like you are now: primal, smart, feisty, wild, and they drive you crazy. Your daughter is the confident young Goddess woman you wanted her to become, she has enough confidence for a whole country.  You are becoming a mentor for a younger generation, as you walk between the lines of society. You are the keeper of the Goddess, and your work is with women & girls, making them warriors. You are still working with your hands, your dreams, and your intuition.

As you get older, your life just keeps getting better. Just like a good wine ;).

Love,
Heike

OFF with her hair!!!

The home made haircut is always a sign of transition in my life. I know that when that urge comes and I grab the scissors, big changes are afoot.

This past Yule, I had my son cut off about 10 inches of my hair :). It was an act of change, making way for new things to come. I knew that I was supposed to LEAP, but did not know where I was supposed to land. We made a ponytail, blessed it, and chopped it off. It was freeing, but I grieved my hair for a little while. (I actually still have the ponytail…never know when I might need it!). I walked around with the chop a few days to see if I need to cut more. When I knew I was done for the time being, my mom graciously cut off the loose ends.

Over the last 6 months, my hair grew back. It grows fast, and it was almost as if weeds were taking over the flower field. I would look at my hair, and it was as if I had someone else’s hair on my head. I know this must sound strange. I have been struggling with some decisions, and I can feel I am on the verge of some major changes, my “life weeds” are keeping me from taking the necessary leaps.

Today, I felt as if my Spirit was being strangled by my hair.

OFF WITH IT.

As I listened to the ratchet sound of the blades cutting through my hair, I could feel my Spirit lifting. First 2ish inches, Then 2 more. Then I stopped measuring and just cut.

It is amazing how much of our “self” our hair holds. I picked up the big clumps of red, fluffy hair, and happily threw them in my compost pile.

I stopped here, but am staying open to receive further direction. I keep seeing visions of “Amelie”….but I may let a pro go there :).