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Goddesses with Magic in their belly

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Custom Goddess I recently finished.

The first Goddess I made was for myself.

She literally came to me to keep me from going insane.

My daughter was five, and my son was just a few weeks old, and I thought I was going to loose it. Now, I think I may have had a bought of Postpartum Depression, then I just thought I was overwhelmed. One night, the Goddess just popped in my head, a beautiful round form, with the message to go to the craft store buy some clay and make it happen. She was big and purple, and a little crude, but I put her on a silk string and wore her ALL THE TIME. Her weight on my chest, and the fact that I could grab her when in need, gave me a certain confidence.

Strangely enough, I cannot find a picture of her anywhere today. She was the beginning of my Goddess journey. People began commenting on her, asking me if she was a fertility Goddess (she had similar forms as the Goddess of Willendorf). Inside: “Hell no, I made her because these two beautiful humans I have are driving me insane!” On the outside, I smiled and said “No, she is the Goddess for whatever you need her to be”.

Friends began asking me to make them Goddesses for different reasons. Then I made one for a friend who was trying to get pregnant for a long time, and she made the announcement a few months later. With that, I became the Goddess Maker.

I would make Goddesses with trinkets, herbs, stones, even hair, all kinds of things in their belly, including lots of intention specific to the person I was making her for, and Moon Magic.

I also began making “everyday” Goddesses, knowing that the right person would find their Goddess, but continued making custom Goddesses over the years.

Now, I take on a limited amount of custom Goddesses. They are beautiful and draining at the same time. The take my energy, and my patience. When I take on a custom Goddess project, I always explain the ritual, because that is exactly what it is: a ritual. I also let the potential wearer know that in the end, I may not be able to make them a custom Goddess at all. It is rare, but has happened.

Once I have been told the “mission” of the Goddess, I can usually see her within a few minutes of talking. I get an idea of favorite colors, but honestly, the Goddess goes where she pleases. I have had Goddesses change color completely 3+ times! Once I see her and pass that on, the making process begins! I incorporate the belly magic, paint, paint, paint. That is when the Tango begins. The Goddess and I dance back and forth, until we finally agree and I can finish. I have made them for recently graduated women firefighters, much wanted pregnancies, Menarche boxes, gifts for little goddesses, sister Witches, etc. The missions are endless & wonderful! Then I just have to wait for a Full Moon to bless her, and she can be off to to her magic!

Much Love,
Heike

P.S. You can find YOUR Goddess here. Or contact me at heike (at) goddessinthegroove.com for custom Goddess availability. xoxo

Even good Shit can get overwhelming

It is 3am, and I am contemplating the purpose of life.

I was asleep, but was awakened by my frantic dog, barking at the door and intermittently coming to get me to tell me something is wrong. A houseparty up the the street from me must have exploded, there are hundreds of loud, slightly stupid sounding kids on my street. God, I hope my kids never sound or act like that. I can hear the police approaching, the crowd outside is getting antsy.

Anyways, I digress. 25 minutes later the street was back to its’ normal, quiet, sleepy suburbian boring self. My dog is now sleeping soundly under my bed, and I am fully awake.

After several rounds of guided meditations, a sleepy tea, an audiobook that did not grab me, some exercise….I decided to go the library and play book roulette. “A Love Story” popped up, I put it on my iPad, and was pleasantly surprised. An collection of short stories!

The first story is about Mavis, who locks herself in a bathroom for a week to think.

I have not finished the story, but am in love with Mavis. And I am jealous that I only have one bathroom. The thought of locking myself into a bathroom for a week, with food that I love (not nourishing, that I love), books, magazines, something to write, and maybe my wi-fi, is fantastic. I would also buy myself a one cup coffee machine for this adventure.

Lately, I have been restless and sleepless, and all around annoyed. I am not sure what is triggering this insolence, but I can feel little tentacles of bitchiness coming out. In one way, it is helping, as I am ruthlessly purging things that don’t make me happy, and that is a big feat right now. On the other hand, I took a pause in reading with Mavis to ask myself “What is wrong?”.

7733821_origI have a great family. I am not kidding, my husband, though truly nerve wracking, is a good and hardworking man. And obviously gifted with a inhumane amount of patience, as we will be married 20 years next week. I am not easy. My kids are both fantastic, spoiled, but fantastic. I have a house in suburbia, lots of stuff in it to keep my creative spirit busy, a dog, chickens, a back yard, wi-fi…..I don’t have a 9-5, so my crazy sleep/ no sleep schedule is doable. I really don’t know how I would function in the real world, I would have to take drugs.

Back to Mavis living in her bathroom. I am drawn to her because we are both yearning for the simple life. I am almost feel as if my life, and the stuff in it, are taking my breathe away. I am tempted to pimp out my van and go live in it. But then where would everyone else sleep?? How would the kids get to school and function? Who would cook heavy, meat based dinners for my hardworking husband, and where would all this damn laundry go??

Sitting here in the quiet, yet chaotic dining room sipping my warm milk with turmeric, I think I have hit the nail on the head.

Too much shit. Even good shit can get overwhelming.

Too many little responsibilities and needs of others suck away energy from the true purpose of what I am here for. Don’t get me wrong, being the mother of these gorgeous humans, and the wife/friend to my husband, the daughter to my mama, and the friend to my few, but true friends is fulfilling. Yet, I also want to find the energy to work with young women, find my witchy circle of women for ritual and growth, go camping by myself in the redwoods, publish my ebook, make KitchenWitches for fun and give them away (I had this dream that I traveled around and delivered custom KitchenWitches to women in different situations, and just made their day. I was like Ellen, only with Witches. It was fabulous, and now is on my “to do” list), things that make my spirit grow and bring in money to support it all comfortably. On that note, I also want another shepherd puppy.

It is time make things clear and simple again, and I need to do it before I am 79 and locked in a bathroom.

How are you finding your life’s purpose, Beautiful??

A letter to my 13 year old self

In 2007, I was 38, I wrote a letter to my 13 year old self as part of a blog Meme.

I loved reading this again, and will now add my 40’s.

I hope this inspires you to write to your budding teenage self!

(clearing throat, wiping eyes)

Dear Heike,

Yipee! You are 13!! Finally, you hit your teens. Isn’t this the day you have been waiting for? If you could only be like all the other thirteen year olds…but you can’t. It is ok, soon, you will not have to change so much to fit in. Actually, you will be honored because you are so different.

The rest of your teens are filled with adventure, a few authentic friends, and many people who just want to take advantage of you. Heed them! And do not let them into your house. You will know who your true friends are, and they will be with you for a long time. Be nice to your mama, she is doing the best she can. If I could keep you off that motorcycle, I would. Too many close calls :), but you are a bit of a wild child with a very sensible brain.

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Fuzzy blast from my 20’s past

Your 20’s start out with a bang, and an accident that will change your life. You will think it is the end of the world, but it is not. You will survive the pain, the uncertainty, and all the follow up operations. And you will carry all the scars with pride, because you have conquered. When you are MUCH older, you will discover Frida Kahlo, the courageous and ingenious artist who had a brace just like you. I promise, you will overcome. A man you can’t stand to be around becomes your soulmate, and you will marry him. When you are 28, you will have a baby they say you will never have. She is a miracle.

Your 30’s are pretty awesome. You are a mama now, and you have learned from many of your past mistakes. Everything you endured growing up, will now make you strong and opinionated. You will become a Goddess, and finally find your clan. You will also find your path, and all your past and present dreams will make more sense. They are your calling. You will have another baby, and they are both fabulous. You are an artist, and your hands make you happy.

Your 40’s make you feel like you are 25 again. Not in the body, but the BRAIN! Your Spirit is vibrant, and feisty! You begin to get more interested in politics, because you want to make your home a better place to live. You become a very vocal pain in the butt, and people know your name, even if it is a bit difficult for people to say! Your children are now teens, and they are pretty opinionated, fantastic humans. They are a lot like you are now: primal, smart, feisty, wild, and they drive you crazy. Your daughter is the confident young Goddess woman you wanted her to become, she has enough confidence for a whole country.  You are becoming a mentor for a younger generation, as you walk between the lines of society. You are the keeper of the Goddess, and your work is with women & girls, making them warriors. You are still working with your hands, your dreams, and your intuition.

As you get older, your life just keeps getting better. Just like a good wine ;).

Love,
Heike

Virgin, Mama, Witch, & Bitch

Dear Beautifuls!
This is an excerpt from the book that I published a few years ago, “Goddess in the Groove ~ Musings from the Goddess Within”. The words hold true today, as they did yesterday. “Bitch” & “Witch” energy is coming up strong lately, so I find it is timely to send this out to you, and the Universe.

I am sharing this with a reminder that no portions of this may be copied, reproduced, or distributed without my permission.  I do want you to share, Beautifuls. Please do! Please just share from here so my words stay true :).

Much love,
Heike

Virgin, Mama, Witch & Bitch

  When a girl baby is born, she is already born into a world of “must be”. Women’s roles start at this early stage. Girls are supposed to wear pretty dresses and do “girlie” things. Goddess forbid the little girl child is not “cute”, since little girls are supposed to look like little dolls. How many times do you hear “I wish I had a little girl! I could dress her up and do her hair, they are so fun!”? Little girls that play with boy things, or are dirty, rough, and wear pants all the time, are considered “tomboys” from toddlerhood on, they are just not “real” little girls….

  Puberty comes, and we are confronted with the term “virgin”, but not in the sense of generations past, when being a virgin was a status symbol of high honor. Society has teenage girls believing it is a disgrace to be a virgin. Their peers and their society pressure girls into sex early, thinking it is the thing to do, and the one who actually “does it” is the one who ends up a teenage mama. To the lucky girls, the “virgin” is the stage of beauty and growth. Girls grow breasts, have their first menstruation, and slowly become women. In many societies and cultures, this stage is still honored with beautiful celebrations and rites of passage. We women need to give our girls the knowledge and self-esteem that helps them develop. We have to teach them that THEY have the right to decide over their bodies and their destiny, giving them choices. The “virgin” is a stage of purity and beauty, not just a metaphoric term whether you have had sex or not.

  For most women, the next stage is “Mama”. They get married and become a wife, and the new mama to their husband, or they perform the miracle of birthing a new human child. Some women choose to skip this stage all together; though I believe we all have the “Mama” instilled in us, and play this role for someone or something in our lives. No matter how well we try to prepare, we cannot study up on this role, but grow into it. Intuition and experience turn us into masters, nurturers with the goal of protecting our kingdom. We portray this role with fierceness, and mamas are often compared to tigresses protecting their cub. The variations “Mamas” are as diverse as women themselves: some women stand by their man till death does them part, some women refer to their career or business accomplishment as ‘their baby” and others protect and live for their children.

  The “Witch” is not as the word in the dictionary, but the spiritual side of a woman. Witches, before their discrimination and elimination, were women of great intelligence and honor. Their rank in society was high and powerful. They were healers, and women whose intuition and knowledge let them perform great deeds. They were not always Beauties, but their aura of power and self-confidence made them beautiful, no matter what the outer shell portrayed. When today’s woman reaches this stage, she is ready for change and self-fulfillment. She is ready to find her inner self and true meaning in life. She turns to meditation, psychics, aromatherapy, yoga, or other forms of “natural healing” to comfort her inner spirit. In this stage, a woman stops dieting, dying, and otherwise torturing herself to fit into society’s beauty ideal, she turns her back and starts to find her beauty inside. She becomes more confident, starts making changes, and the “Bitch” comes out.

  The “Bitch” is in us from toddler stage, we just don’t know it. When we discover her in us for the first time, we suppress her due to “etiquette”. But boy, when we need her, is she ever helpful! She is our “other self” that comes out when we fell threatened, cheated, or confronted. When we are in a bad place because something in our life is just not right, our first step to changing it is to become “bitchy”. Some women get stuck on this step for a very long time, but sooner or later they realize it and move forward. Others jump right on up! In corporate America, strong and powerful women are often referred to as “bitches” by their male counterparts or employees of both sexes, because that attitude is what keeps them above ground and in charge. People are intimidated, and of course annoyed, by bitchy women, but if you look at it as a stage of wonderful stage you will see your sisters in a much rosier light!

   Look at yourself, what stage are you in now? And the next time someone calls you a “Bitch”, you can just smile and say “Why, THANK YOU!” The circle is becoming complete.

Pull yourself together, Woman!

It seems that my “space” to write and share is getting very sparse.

I wish I could come back here sporadically, and report that I was in intense training for the last few months and just completed a major marathon….or that I decided to live by myself in a magical enchanted forest for four weeks to find my true authentic self…or that I won millions and had to go off the grid to protect myself.

But alas, I am just overwhelmed with every day life. It just zaps the life energy right out of me.

I don’t know how some women function under constant “Go! Go! Go!”.

Ready??

My house is a mess, my backyard is aching for some love, so is my husband, and my dog….my homeschooled kids are luckily super bright, otherwise I am sure they would be behind because you can only really take counting “Mythbusters” as Science so far..Thank Goddess for our math tutor..everyone who is in an organization we belong to is getting on my frickin’ nerves because they compensate their boring little lives by ‘volunteering’ to parent me and my kids, I keep forgetting to pay bills and by the time the double bills come I have spent the extra money at the thrift store ( :)…a highlight, love my thrift stores), I google the world at night when I should be sleeping, and remember how cosmopolitan I was many, MANY moons ago, I wanna be a millionaire so frickin’ bad, I want a camera to shoot documentaries but the one I need is about $500 more than I have…and that is the cheap one, I did a 14 day juice cleanse and my body does not remember, I miss my family, I want to travel like a gypsy and see the weird sites of the U.S, but my husband only gets two weeks vacation and wants to go to Alabama…..

There is more, but I will stop for a moment.

I am at a point where I know change is coming, but I need to prepare. I can’t prepare, because mundane stuff you just read is just dragging me by my ankles.

I just read the blog of a beautiful friend, and her journey inspires me.

I NEED to find that magical enchanted forest and hide there for a few days. Because it is magic, all my other responsibilities will be taken care of by the Forest Fairy while I am gone.

I am ready to either tear the head off of people who are making my life more complicated, or make them stew in the fear of my calmness….hmm..

Unfortunately, the Law of Attraction, which is attracting me, is SCREAMING in my brain: “Remember your vibration, Heike!!”

Every blue moon, my body will carry a sign for me. A paw print, a weird pain….today, I looked at my leg, and there was a scrunchy mark (from leaning on it like The Thinker while I pondered my life???) that looked like a Goddess. I tried to trace it with marker before it left..

I am sure it came to tell me to pull myself together and act like a Goddess.

A Spot for Women

For many years, I would say: “I wish someone would tell me what I am supposed to be doing so I could stop all these meaningless things and get cracking!”

I would consult healers and magic people to tell me the road to take. (BTW, a true “see-er” will not give you this answer, they will only give you the tools to find out yourself…..oui?). I would beg my mother to make me do something. I would start something, just knowing I found my “it”, just to discover that just like love, it takes more than a thrill to make it last….

I have found my path. I know what I a meant to do, now I just need the tools. I am here to make women strong. I am looking for the perfect piece of land, the place where this women’s center will blossom:If the colors make you smile, excellent. I colored this after it came to me and just felt so right, I had to hurry and put it on paper to share. Thankfully, there are crayons strewn everywhere in my house.

This is a retreat. A place for Circle. The houses in the middle are made of cob, and are cozy little cottages for the women. The big houses are for myself, and my friend (who is an herbalist), and there will be space for other spirits that are part of this plan :). This will be a place of peace, healing, education, rejuvenation, being a goddess. It will be a place for women to gather. Just like on my website, www.goddessinthegroove.com, a place for women with opinions….and here I will add ” & spirit”.

I am throwing this out to the universe! If you know of 5-10acres of land that need spirit (not money), I am your woman!

P.P.S. I love y’all with smooches! I want to send you my book and make you laugh. I would love for you to BUY one, but now you can WIN your very own copy! Just sign up for FeedBlitz updates in the little index to your right. You will automatically entered every month (yeah, I know.), drawings will be held on the 30th or 31st. And a special bonus: a 10% coupon for Goddess pendants!!

Thank Goddess for the internet, Part 2

Yesterday I told you about the wonderful woman I met on the internet, Antoinette of Creatress’s Creations. We had so much fun emailing, we decided to meet for coffee today.

We did a Goddess Exchange!! :)…Don’t be jealous, but I received 3 (!) super cool necklaces, picked out JUST FOR ME!! Antoinette puts little treasures in resin and makes pendants out of them. She picked a shell (for the mermaid in me), and a woman out of an old magazine (for the vintage kitscher in me!), as well as making me a necklace out of many different red hued beads. How did she know I was into red this week as I am clearing my first chakra??? Who knows…Coincidently, we have discovered many common traits, and many paths that have brought us together. Antoinette picked my purple star goddess to be her own, and they are a perfect match!

I would post some pics for you, but unfortunately I have no idea where my camera cable is taking residence at this time. We are also missing: one checkbook, one Titti Bear (Purple, and roars. A reward is offered!), one Athena shoe belonging my dh’s doll, one computer ear phone that lets me use Skype while on my laptop.

Now, if the real live ME, and my boisterous children did not scare her away, I have met a soul sister on the internet :).